User talk:Genderedjustice/Bernette Joshua Johnson

Evaluate the drafted changes (Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The Lead The Lead is concise and correctly gives an overview of the subject. Could maybe add quickly who appointed her/how she got on the bench. Grammar-- delete the comma after who and combine the last separated sentence into the first one so it reads as "New Orleans who served as the first African American Chief Justice of the Louisiana Supreme Court from 2013 until 2020."

The Content The Content of the main sections is good. Some grammar mistakes with comma placement (overusing commas where they are not needed). Divide up her career into other sections. Either make sub-headings beneath the career or just separate the content into different headings. The sentence about her running unsuccessfully for the circuit court of appeal feels out of place; I would recommend stringing it in with more information somewhere else.

Tone/Balance I think the tone is very neutral. I would restructure the part about her federal suit about seniority to become the chief justice in a different section because it feels too heavy for her career. It needs to be broken up. At the bottom, there is a two sentence little conclusion, but it reads awkwardly. Needs to be an introduction or deleted.

References The references and sources all seem like older sources retrieved from 2015 or earlier. Needs updating. However, the links all seem to work.

Overall Opinion I would say that this article is a good start. It could definitely use some improvement in the writing and structure. The content feels a little sparse. There needs to be more headings that divide up the information into sections.

Hunter's Peer Review

Peer Review Lead:

The article's introduction is very brief, leaving most of the other details about her life to come later. While this is good, it could be slightly expanded. Also, as she has a biographical column which mentions Kimball, that detail may not be necessary or relevant to her biography's entirety. Instead, it may be more relevant to include that Johnson was also the first woman on the Orleans Parish Civil District Court. Lastly, there is no need for a comma in the first sentence.

Content:

The content is very comprehensive and includes some really strong examples of her most historic and positional cases. There are a few mistakes with punctuation, namely commas; one appears in the second sentence of the "Early life and education" section. Also, there is some slight redundancy in sentence structure in this section, as every sentence following the first begins with "she". Lastly, though it is not necessary, it may be more logical to reorder the last three sentences.

In the "Career" section, the first sentence should definitely be moved to preceded the cases which prove and expand upon this detail. This could all be combined to form a new subsection which focuses on her ideologies and goals on the bench. Otherwise, all information seems relevant, simply it must be better structured. The last two sentences should certainly be moved to the Lead section, as they are most relevant to her overall narrative.

Tone/Balance:

Overall, the article is neutral and includes information that is relevant to her narrative, yet some details are included that may be unnecessary with regard to her court decisions. Otherwise, close to none of the sentences contain bias which would hinder the validity of any statements.

References:

The references are still functional! A couple sentences may need a citation added though, but I also see that you contributed already to some of this. Definitely lots of validity!

In Sum:

This is a great article, and, honestly, I think it is perfect opportunity to modify and expand. The content mainly needs some fine-tuning, but no major issues are significant within what is written. Going forward, I think the main thing for you to do with these things is organize it in preparation for your additions! — Preceding unsigned comment added by ValidWikiLuvr (talk • contribs) 18:13, 2 November 2023 (UTC)