User talk:Ghurley1/sandbox

You should be a little more specific and provide and image. This would help clear a lot of the confusion a viewer might have. --Dougsitt (talk) 03:19, 10 April 2019 (UTC)

You should include which dolls you're actually talking about bc it's unclear which ones you're talking about. Also, who is Kerry? Caranlee (talk) 20:34, 31 March 2019 (UTC)

Also, what does Kerry specialize in? Why is this person relevant? Also, on the page, it mentions supernatural characteristics of the doll. Is there a reference as to what happens when this doll is present, or what Letta is known for?Maddywright (talk) 00:05, 1 April 2019 (UTC)

You should probably add a header, so its a little more clear what doll you're talking about. Also, you should add a little more detail to the doll. The description is a little blunt and dry. Samwolff450 (talk) 02:18, 1 April 2019 (UTC)

I don't understand this sentence: Kerry experienced the first supernatural occurence when his children reported seeing Kerry Walton, believes that the doll has moved objects around his house at night. There is some repetition with the moving of doll so maybe cut one of the statements. For Mandy I think the last sentence should be moved to beginning and history of Mandy can be expanded on, maybe another paragraph.Mlazarus14 (talk) 14:14, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I think the sentence, "Kerry experienced the first supernatural occurence when his children reported seeing Kerry Walton, believes that the doll has moved objects around his house at night," could be edited for clarity. Also, it could be helpful to insert pictures of what the dolls look like, or any other pictures that could enhance your page. Mtatherton18 (talk) 14:17, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Adding picture of the dolls would be a good idea in order to put a face to the name in a sense. A short description of Kerry Walton and Mandy would also be beneficial to create some clarity. Larainal (talk) 14:29, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I think you should be more consistent with whether or not you quote "Letta Me Out" in your first paragraph- it could be a little bit confusing to the reader, especially in the first sentence. Also, I would word some things a little bit differently so that your content is clearer to your audience. Montananelson (talk) 14:41, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I would get rid of sometime in sometime in the 1970's in a deserted house. Kerry Walton, believes. Would change "At the moment" to currently. Barborale (talk) 14:46, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

You might want to add pictures if there are any as a reference to the reader. The stories about the individual dolls are great. You might be able to put the two paragraphs under the same header and then divide the two stories into sub-divisions. Charlieaabrams (talk) 18:28, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

I think your work is great, but you should add more facts to it. 1oromo (talk) 20:05, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

Add some more background and context about Kerry and the Letta Me Out Doll before going into the haunrting aspect. Sallyfried (talk) 18:38, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

I think you should add images for each of the dolls if you can find any. The information is good, I just think you should format your section with one heading and then have subheadings for each doll.Dmastronardi (talk) 18:48, 7 April 2019 (UTC)