User talk:GinnyMae/sandbox

Peer review from Daniellelp
Hi GinnyMae,

Great work so far your contributions to the article on VCD! The "Causes" and "Epidemiology" sections are very well-developed and informative. One of my suggestions would be to include some additional layman's terms (e.g. "voice box" for larynx) and/or link technical terms (e.g. GERD, rhinosinusitis) to other articles in case some readers may be unfamiliar with them. Another suggestion I have is to be careful about citing primary sources (e.g. 2nd sentence of 2nd paragraph in the Epidemiology section: "One study found..."). Some terms in this section could also be simplified a bit further (e.g. "neonates" --> newborn babies). Overall, your first draft is off to a really great start! Well done :)

Daniellelp (talk) 01:38, 28 October 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback ! That is a great point you make about the primary sources! These were not actually direct citations of a primary source, but study results that were cited in reference books and/or meta-analyses (because the information on epidemiology is somewhat limited, we found most of the information these sources gave consisted of simply reporting the findings of a few different studies, which sometimes had conflicting results.) So I wasn't sure quite what to do with that... I thinnnk that the source itself is OK, but perhaps it would be an improvement if I changed phrases like "one study found..." to something like "it has been reported that..."? I am definitely planning on adding in links for more technical terms as well! Thanks again for your helpful review. :) GinnyMae (talk) 15:32, 29 October 2016 (UTC)