User talk:Gisbert K/sandbox3

Expansion of the section "History" of the article Clarinet.
Herewith I present for discussion the first part of the section "History", which I would like to recast and expand. - Gisbert ツ (talk)  Illustrate Wikipedia ! 13:34, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you. Questions:
 * 1st para:
 * What does "and a pitch range - written - from F3 to G4" mean? Why not "a written pitch range"? ✅
 * 2nd para:
 * "The clarinet came into being" - any other way to say that, because "being" isn't strictly it? ✅, now "arised", but: in many dictionaries you find "come into being" for "entstehen"
 * "key" in this particular meaning needs a link or an explanation. ✅
 * "overblow" needs a link or an explanation.  ✅
 * "The second key, at the top, made A4 and together with the register key B♭4 possible." This will remain a mystery to readers who don't already know. ✅
 * I'm rather sure that "so dass" is not best translated (literally) by "so that". What do native speakers say?  ✅
 * "This defined the pitch range of normal clarinets as we know them." - How about something like "The resulting range has remained the normal pitch range of clarinets."   ✅
 * the third register, is that still a Denner development? if not, better in a different para. ✅
 * 3rd para
 * links to "tuning" and "fingering", unless earlier in the article ✅
 * "As clarinets sufficient improved", - doesn't work, would have to "sufficiently", but is not elegant even then. ✅
 * any link to Lotz, in another language? - if not, life data and location? ✅
 * "Mozart wrote the first Quintet for clarinet and string quartet in 1789 and the 1792 Concerto in A major for clarinet and orchestra for this instrument." - no, the link to Mozart's work where one would expect the genre is an Easter egg.
 * When I read "the first clarinet quintet, I expect a link to that genre, not to a specific work in the genre, even if the first. ✅
 * suggested: "Mozart composed his works for clarinet with this instrument in mind, both his Clarinet Quintet in 1789, the first work in the genre, and his Clarinet Concerto in 1792, with this instrument in mind." "in mind"  No, he composed the quintet and the concerto for a clarinet with a range down to C3.
 * how is this then: "Mozart composed his works for clarinet with this instrument in mind, both his Clarinet Quintet in 1789, the first work in the genre, and his Clarinet Concerto in 1792 for this kind of instrument". ✅ Completely new wording
 * "a standard fixture" - better word than fixture? "feature"? ✅ now: a fixed member
 * 4th para
 * "The next developmental push" - not sure that "push" is the best word here  ✅
 * "alternating joints" - please a link or explanation ✅
 * 5th para
 * "ligature" - link or explain ✅
 * "it was after that" - sound Germanic to my, - why not just "After"? I can imagine that whole last sentence being reworded. ✅

--Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:35, 2 January 2023 (UTC)

Thank you for changes! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:05, 3 January 2023 (UTC)

Checked some but need to interrupt. You decide to pink Nikkimaria now or later today. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:47, 3 January 2023 (UTC)

Expansion second part
Herewith I present for discussion the second part - below the yello line - of the section "History", which I would like to recast and expand. - Gisbert ツ (talk)  Illustrate Wikipedia ! 22:48, 5 January 2023 (UTC)