User talk:Gkovach13/sandbox

Comfort zone -- I am copyediting this article.
 * Hi, I've looked over your changes. You've done an excellent job. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:44, 7 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Looking at the article, I'd like to point out that the second paragraph in the lead should be its own section. It doesn't belong in the lead. But that's beyond the scope of this assignment, so don't worry about it if you don't have the time to edit the article. Josef Horáček (talk) 19:44, 7 February 2015 (UTC)

Prison food -- This is the article that I will be adding additional sources to. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gkovach13 (talk • contribs) 20:28, 9 February 2015 (UTC) Gkovach13 (talk) 21:29, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Additional sources:

1. Barclay, Eliza. "Food As Punishment: Giving U.S. Inmates 'The Loaf' Persists." Corrections Forum 16.4 (2014): 24. Supplemental Index. Web. 9 Feb. 2015.

2. Jones, Michael Owen (2014). "Dining on Death Row: Last Meals and the Crutch of Ritual". Journal of American Folklore 127 (503)

3. Bach, George. "Defining "Sufficiently Serious" In Claims Of Cruel And Unusual Punishment." Drake Law Review 62.1 (2013): 1-39. Academic Search Complete. Web. 10 Feb. 2015. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gkovach13 (talk • contribs) 23:40, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

4. Liu, Benjamin Pi-Wei. "A Prisoner's Right To Religious Diet Beyond The Free Exercise Clause." UCLA Law Review 51.4 (2004): 1151-1201. Academic Search Complete. Web. 10 Feb. 2015. Gkovach13 (talk) 01:26, 11 February 2015 (UTC)


 * Go ahead. Josef Horáček (talk) 18:50, 10 February 2015 (UTC)
 * You found excellent sources and added some very interesting information to the article. Do go back and look over your grammar and mechanics, though. You've missed several apostrophes, especially in the word "inmates." Then make sure to leave a comment on the article talk page if you haven't done so already, and you'll be done. Josef Horáček (talk) 00:02, 17 February 2015 (UTC)

I would like to add a lead to this article Will Ferrell — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gkovach13 (talk • contribs) 17:16, 20 February 2015 (UTC)

This article's lead does not adequately summarize the important details of the rest of the article. The article consists of different parts of Will Ferrell's life beginning with his early life, which leads into his career, personal life, filmography, awards etc. These parts of the article are in the correct order. I believe that I can fix the lead, making it reflect the most important parts of the article, allowing the reader to know what the rest consists of without having to read the entire thing. Gkovach13 (talk) 22:27, 22 February 2015 (UTC)

I hope its is okay, but I decided to change the article that I will be writing a lead for Daniel Tosh is the article that I chose! Let me know if this is okay! Gkovach13 (talk) 21:11, 26 February 2015 (UTC)

The Daniel Tosh lead is very short and does not summarize the key points of the article correctly. I believe that I can fix these issues, giving the article's lead important facts that let viewers know what the rest of the article is about.

Rough Draft of Lead for Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh is an American comedian who is also known for his acting, writing, and television hosting. Tosh is best attributed to his show on Comedy Central, Tosh.0, which aired for the first time on June 5, 2009. This show is notorious for taking things too far, and consists of humor filled with homophobia, sexism, racism, and mockery.

In the beginning, Tosh’s career took a leap when he performed on the Late Show with David Letterman in 2001. This was shortly followed by other big appearances on popular shows including Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and Comedy Central’s Premium Blend (2001). These shows were essential for the start of Tosh’s career. Comedy Central was important to Tosh’s career because it aired Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious, which was one of Tosh’s stand up specials.

Tosh appeared in many television shows, which added to his diverse and successful career. Social anxiety issues led to Tosh claiming that he would end his life if his comedian career had not prospered by the time he turned 38. However, he is was very successful. Today, Tosh.0 leads to much controversy, and many claim that his show makes sexual violence and assault seem like a normal and okay thing.

Tosh has had a solid career in Discography and many stand up specials. His latest stand up comedy tour, "Tosh Tour June Gloom" ended in 2013, and this year (2015), his tour is called "The Great Nor'easter Tour." Gkovach13 (talk) 23:07, 26 February 2015 (UTC)
 * Good choice and nice lead. You repeat the phrase "known for" three times in the first paragraph. Other than that, the lead looks good. Josef Horáček (talk) 06:47, 1 March 2015 (UTC)
 * There are still some awkward moments, and a few things need clarification (What is mockery? Is he really racist etc. or making fun of racists?), but the lead did improve the article. You should ask the user who reverted your edit for an explanation. He or she shouldn't be able to just revert your edit without justification. Josef Horáček (talk) 13:18, 10 March 2015 (UTC)