User talk:Gpedro174/Aquatic toxicology

External Review
Hi Gpedro174 - My name is Jolie, and I'm the Project Coordinator for the WikiProject Limnology & Oceanography team. Your external reviewer for your article on aquatic toxicology doesn't have a Wikipedia account, so I'm posting the review on their behalf. If you have any questions about your review, or would like to clarify anything, please feel free to contact your reviewer directly using the email address provided at the end of the review. Thanks, and all the best as you wrap up your Wikipedia editing assignment!

EXTERNAL REVIEW

First, to introduce myself, I am Joey Allen, a freshwater ecologist and I am now working as a post-doctoral researcher investigating the effect of multiple stressors (pesticide pollution and climate change) on shallow aquatic ecosystems.

I think it is interesting to add a section on endocrine disruptors in WP page on aquatic toxicology. Just a few comments:

The first sentence is too general for a section on endocrine disrupting compounds (EDC) in a WP page about aquatic toxicology. This sentence (or something similar) should rather be placed elsewhere in the article. I have some difficulties understanding the second sentence.

When writing this section, you must think about the reason to make a specific section on endocrine disruptors: what are their specificities compared to other kind of pollutants (e.g. non-monotonic dose response, low-dose effect, critical periods of exposure, see https://doi.org/10.1210/er.2008-0021).

Also, pay attention to the structure of your section. Here, you indicate the effect of EDC (3rd and 4th sentences), then you go to their presence in the environment, then back to their effect (on behaviour), and back to their presence in the aquatic environment. Structure instead to have one part on their presence in the environment, and one part on their effect.

Be more direct in your sentences. For example write “increased female proportion and sometimes a lack of males have been observed in fish population downstream of wastewater treatment facilities[9]” instead of “It has been shown that aquatic environments downstream of wastewater treatment facilities have shown in some cases increased female populations of fish and lack of male fish[9].”

If you still have question on how to improve your contribution, you can contact me directly at joeyallen@orange.fr

JoGDelta (talk) 21:27, 12 April 2021 (UTC)