User talk:Graceharrison14/sandbox

Peer review by Sophie P:

- Overall, really strong organization throughout. I liked how you presented the information as a timeline with clearly marked sections and "eras" of the tribe's past. You kept the paragraphs concise and specific which made for easy readability. If I were visiting this Wiki page to just find out about what was happening with the Pomo nation in 1849, for example, I'd be able to quickly just jump there and find what I need.

- Using active voice and explicit naming when referring to the crimes committed against the Pomo people could provide some positive framing for the article. Someone orchestrated the atrocities against the people, and there is always a force behind displacement and similar events. Changing the phrasing to add specificity and an active tone (ie. editing "the first half of the century brought forced removal..." to "in the first half of the century, _______ forcibly removed..." would call attention to the perpetrators of these events. Passive vs. active voice can be more than just a grammar decision, it also impacts how the information being presented is framed and recieved.

- Great use of Pomo words and phrases throughout the article! This was one of my favorite parts of your additions. It reminded me throughout my reading that the Pomo voice and experience is the most important thing to consider and seek out when learning about their history.

- You could further clarify information about the Pomo nation's journey to formal tribal recognition... I was a little unclear on what changed between 1983 and 2006. To go one step further, what's changed since then? Where are the Pomo people now? Maybe this would be something to add after your PE! Perl s (talk) 18:39, 20 March 2018 (UTC)