User talk:GrantDrum/Barcelona

Spelling & Grammar:
Spelling is fine. Grammar needs a lot of work.
 * 1) "they see their culture and language as to be very different..." ("as being" would be better)
 * 2) "...but also for other reasons, such as the often shared feeling that the central government of Spain takes more in taxes than it returns." (This is a run-on sentence. Perhaps break it into two. "Often" isn't necessary)
 * 3) "sworn in over seas in Brussels" (should be one word)
 * 4) "Though after the regional..." ("though" isn't necessary here)
 * 5) " ...subsequently, where at the time the ousted..." (another run-on sentence that is very unclear. Maybe rework it into two separate sentences. "Subsequently" isn't necessary. "Where, at the time, the ousted...)
 * 6) "remained (in) hiding" (add "in")
 * 7) "others (who were) labeled ex-ministers"
 * 8) "Puigdemont still voiced for (called on/urged) Catalans... opposing against Spain's"
 * 9) "Out of those that did ("Of those who did" would be better)... accoring (according) to the Catalan government"
 * 10) "...January 2018 but is also the source of debate..." (run-on sentence)
 * 11) "attempting to regain legitimate presidency" (the?)
 * 12) "October 1, 2017" (add comma)
 * 13) -Also, I would warn against using contractions (don't, wasn't, wouldn't, etc.). I didn't point them out, but maybe go through and change them as you see them.

Language:
-Good word choice, but there is a lot of repetition and overuse of some words. Try reading aloud and you'll hear it.

Organization:
-Good. No problems with that.

Coding:
-No coding errors as far as I can tell.

Completeness:
-Very complete.

Relevance:
-Everything is relevant.

Citations:
-All citations open to legitimate sources.

Hi Grant! I hope you don't mind, but I tried to point out major problems so you could fix them easily. It's not helpful if I just vaguely say "grammar needs work", you know? Anyway, I think what would help this is shortening your sentences. Try breaking up the long, ramble-y ones into two or three sentences with 1-2 facts each. It will really help the article sound more encyclopedic in tone. Avictory (talk) 19:47, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

Spelling/Grammar
Meets Standard. The spelling in this article is excellent, great job. However, in your first paragraph there are some grammatical errors. Also, you should try to make some of your run-on sentences more concise.

Language
Meets Standard. For the most part you were very clear and articulated the topic very well. But, I think you can make your article have a more encyclopedic tone.

Organization
Meets Standard. Well organized and an interesting header.

Coding
Exceeds Standard. Coding is good.

Validity
Exceeds Standard. Provides accurate details about the subject at hand and referred to authentic/reliable sources.

Completion
Exceeds Standard. This article is complete.

Relevance
Exceeds Standard. No irrelevant content provided.

3/21/2018 Evaluation by Ctardif5

 * Points: 39/40
 * Grade: 97.5%

Spelling/Grammar
Nearly Meets Standard Spelling is adequate but grammatical improvements are necessary to make the edit more fluid for the reader. I would encourage you to read the draft aloud, as though you were giving a formal speech, and consider where commas would be appropriate for that style of speech. For example, in the last sentence of the first paragraph, a comma should be added directly before and after the word "however". Consider my use of commas in these sentences, as they are intentionally placed to provide mental pauses and improve the flow of reading.

Language
Meets Standard The tone and style of language is mostly appropriate, but I would again read through it aloud and consider if changes can be made to reduce informality and improve encyclopedic diction. For instance, in the second sentence of your edit, I would change "as to be very different" to "as being very different". There are many other lengthy or otherwise informal sentences that could be perfected with a few minor tweaks.

Organization
Meets Standard Organization, structure and headings are appropriate, but the relative lack of content in the "FC Barcelona" section seems out of place. I would either add some additional content to this section or create other secondary sub-headers for the existing content, as this would improve the aesthetics of the page.

Coding
Meets Standard No code errors identified. I would suggest adding some more links, such as to Catalonia, the European Union, Carles Puigdemont, and others, as this would improve the quality and audience experience for your edit.

Validity
Meets Standard All information is valid and no accurate information is present.

Completion
Nearly Meets Standard While you do have the 20 required sources, I am not sure that the length of your edit qualifies as 5 paragraphs. In contrast, I am not certain that it does not meet criteria for 5 paragraphs, as I am not sure what the metric is. I have given this grade for completion only because I think it could help to add a bit more content for safe measure, to ensure that you receive a good grade.

Relevance
Meets Standard Content is all relevant to the topic of Politics, however it does not seem clear how the included information about FC Barcelona relates to the overall topic of Catalonian independence, and adding a bit more to explain the relevance of this information would be helpful.