User talk:GrayAlaina97/sandbox

Comments on article
Jorwe the site is different from Jorwe the culture (the difference is similar to Harappa the site and Harappan culture). Please check your sources and make sure that you are discussing the site of Jorwe and not another site of the Jorwe culture. Make sure you stick to descriptions of the finds and avoid interpretations.Profarch (talk) 17:53, 16 March 2018 (UTC)

I would suggest rewording the sentences about the housing structures and drainage systems for the sake of flow. Also maybe elaborate on what other artifacts were found and who conducted the excavations and when. Ryanseedorf (talk) 21:02, 22 March 2018 (UTC)

Much like what Ryan said the flow of sentences seemed a little off--I would particularly focus on the last sentence in the article ((If we read it without the descriptive part it reads like this "Other artifacts found at Jorwe includes jewelry including bracelets and bangles with intricate design")). Also I'm not sure if there is already a wiki page for Jorwe or not but if there isn't I would suggest adding the location of where Jorwe is and maybe even adding when the excavation was done--I think dates are important when talking about sites. Linking other wiki sites to it was good touch. Leslie.SFC (talk) 23:40, 22 March 2018 (UTC)