User talk:GriffinSch/sandbox

This article gave me a good understanding of what Susan Cox Johnson was known for and gave a basic explanation of her significance in occupational therapy. I was impressed by your choice of topic, I think Susan Cox Johnson was a good pick and I learned who she was from the article. “. She spread the message that OT's should be differentiated from nurses since they both have different responsibilities as well as similar responsibilities for the care of patients.” This quote shows how she was instigating change and how she left an impact for the future. I like the last sentence of the career section, that’s a good ending. Some changes that I would make would be to add more detail about her early life -maybe talk about her family and how she got into occupational therapy. I would also go back and look at the lead, maybe make it more attention getting, add some more of her accomplishments and state the impact she made. Overall, I would add more detail about what she was studying, you could put some specific examples which would also give you more sources. I think these changes would be an improvement because it would make the article more detailed and give the reader more information on Johnson. I think that the most important thing that you could do to improve the article would be to find some more sources and detailed information. It would make the article longer as well. Maybe divide up the career section to more paragraphs. When reading your article, I realize I need to improve my lead to make it more attention getting. I think you have a very solid start! -Carolyn Duvic