User talk:Gsakoda/sandbox

Peer Review by Jed

Hello Gina! Overall great start and good job on your effort so far on this project. I enjoyed reading through your sandbox and reading the different narrations and disclaimers you wrote (sorry that you lost everything that one time). It's so impressive to me that you've been managing to look through sources that are in Spanish. I don't know your fluency level but I think it's still impressive regardless!!! I think you have some solid ideas on how to improve your article by expanding certain sections and deleting/dispersing others.

Sector: I think your comment regarding the lack of intersection between traditional and modern medicine is very fitting. In the lead section of the Healthcare in Peru article, it has this sentence "Another unique factor is the presence of indigenous health beliefs, which continue to be widespread in modern society." I think your comment accurately points out how the article mentions nothing to back up this statement. The new section you added about the intersection of these topics is a great and necessary start to improving this article. When I read the term "intersection", I take it to mean the merging or coming together of both. For this new section, it would be great to see you add more about the ways (if any) shamans incorporate or combine their practices with modern medicine or how the five sectors who administer health care incorporate traditional method in their endeavors. In addition to talking about how the introduction of modern medicine affected traditional medicine, I'd like to know more details about how they coincide in this society and what that means for different doctors, hospitals, and health care providers. Information about culture, stigma, precedence, and what the healthcare system in Peru actually looks like (I skimmed the whole article and I don't have a clear sense of what system it has) would be really helpful to someone who doesn't know much about the topic. That being said, I acknowledge that person is me and I do not know whether or not that information exists, but it could be a good question to frame future research. The section itself is well written and seems neutral and encyclopedic! The paragraph you added to the history section is really helpful in addressing my above comment. I like how it is written as well as the context it provides to the contemporary healthcare system. Keep adding to this!

Area: Looks like you have a good start here. I agree with you that you should delete/disperse the conflict section. Even the "territorial rights of the communities" section after those two sentences seems out of place and unnecessary. It doesn't really give you much information, it is confusing, and doesn't seem to assist the article in any way that I see. Perhaps if not deleting it, I would add context or move it to a different section that makes more sense for it to be there. Solid paragraph that you added. I think that it's a really important section that you're adding so props! I'm not surprised as to there being a discrepancy between test scores of indigenous and non indigenous but I'm interested to learn about why. Is it their education system? The language that is used? racism and lack of money/funding/support for indigenous students?

Again, good job! Keep up the good work, have a great week and a spring break, and good luck on this project!!!! ANd on your practice experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jtlee0 (talk) 08:10, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Evaluation— by Emily Lui
Hi Gina!

I wasn’t really sure how to structure my peer review, so everything is in order of how you have displayed it in your sandbox.

Sector: Health care in Peru I like how you want to add a new section to the article!

Traditional and indigenous medicine— Intersection of traditional and modern medicine: For your first sentence, I would recommend either rewording it or specifying from what time period Shamanism has been an important part of medical care. I can infer that it has been a big part for a long time, but it may be nice to specify, or change the wording for added clarity. I don’t think you need the comma after history. I don’t think you need the however (many areas in Peru interest in…) Possibly consider changing the syntax of the last sentence of the section.

History Lead (I think): I think you can change the “at” to “to be” (is estimated to be between 9 million…). Consider changing “had no reason” to something else to create a more encyclopedic tone. Consider editing the last sentence of the section, it is a little bit confusing, because “caused by” is used twice.

I think that your “site to look at” will be an interesting article/source to bring in since it focuses on more of the modern atmosphere.

Indigenous People in Peru Region—Conflicts: I like your idea of either moving the two sentences to either an existing section or a new section. I feel that the section dedicated to just two sentences is unnecessary.

Education and language I love that you are adding a new section to the article, especially since the article currently does not have that much content. Maybe revise the 3rd sentence to be “…and it worked…”. Also maybe consider revising the last sentence for grammar and syntax. I like the quote as well, it is very well said. Try incorporating it into the article to see if it works or not.

Overall, both your articles are pretty short, so I feel that your contributions are going to be very helpful, and you will have a lot of flexibility of what you are going to add. You should have no problem adding more content and sources to your articles. My only suggestion to you is to gather more sources, or expand upon the ones your already have for “Health care in Peru” to add more content and citations to the article. I saw that you noted that many sections were missing citations, and I think that adding them in would be very beneficial to the article. Any additional contributions to the article would help to expand upon what is already there. Since there is not that much present in either of your articles, it is really up to you for what you are going to add. I hope that this was helpful!

—Eklui (talk) 01:14, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

Hi Gina! Here we are in the WikiR Workshop. I am currently reading your article on Indigenous Peoples of Peru. I think your incorporation of Education and language is a great new section. One tiny thing that I thought you could add would be a title for Nancy Hornberger (like Dr. Nancy Hornberger or Professor or something) just because it seems a bit out of place to cite a person without giving some context. You are so good at having different sources in one paragraph!! I'm so impressed. Ariabd (talk) 00:11, 27 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi Gina, I read your "Healthcare in Peru" article for the in class Wiki workshop and was thoroughly impressed with the significant contributions you added through your work on the "Intersection of traditional and modern medicine" section. One note I did have was that you use the term "medical pluralism" in your section but as far as I could see from my skimming of the article that is not defined. It may be advantageous to provided a short description of "medical pluralism" to your section. Another note is to perhaps decide whether or not you want to have all your citations immediately following the information you give (in the middle of a sentence) or if you want to include them all at the end of the each sentence. Whichever you pick you should reman consistent throughout your writing to keep citations clean. Echoing what Aria said above, I am so very impressed by your work. You should be very proud of your efforts because you have made significant, meaningful contributions to this page. Best of luck with your work this summer! Vivikir (talk) 02:05, 27 April 2018 (UTC)