User talk:HALnine1000/sandbox

Your sources look good, as do your facts. I didn't notice any grammatical errors. I added some internal links to other wikipedia pages to improve the visibility of your page. I would suggest explaining what Skrien is because I couldn't find somewhere to link it and I'm unclear as to what it is. I would also suggest reformatting your page in the final edit (ie. headers, etc.), modelled off of other pages.

Kdiddyy (talk) 13:28, 17 March 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
Vincent,

L'article est bon pour l'instant, même si personnellement, je ne parlerais pas de la personne en écrivant uniquement son nom de famille, peut être que tu devrais ajouter des initiales (?).

Dans Themes and Style, les phrases sont un peu trop redondantes, elles commencent toutes de la même façon.

Je te conseillerais également d'ajouter une image, une page Wikipedia sans image est un peu "terne".

Un dernier conseil serait de différencier "vie privée" et "carrière", si jamais tu as assez d'informations sur Helena, ou alors ajouter une partie "citation", ou "influence". Ce sont des parties relativement faciles à compléter et rendent l'article plus intéressant!

--Maxence FilmStudies

PS: J'ai ajouté quelques détails afin que l'article soit plus clair, comme les parties, et le sommaire.

peer review
Hi, You did a good job at researching van der Meulen.

I like that you created a section for themes and style because I have not seen any on other pages yet. However, I am not sure if the section is wikipedia appropriate. In one of the modules and in class, we were told that we could not use sources that came from the person that we were talking about and this specific section starts off with a reference to a statement that Van der Meulen made about her own films. More so, I think that maybe themes and style could be considered more subjective than factual.

I looked up the more recent films in the filmography section and found that they do not have pages on wikipedia. That being said, because we cannot add links, you might want to add a certain specificity to the titles (for example, adding the word “script”, if van der Meulen was in charge of the script).

Another idea to make your page even more thorough is to add an info box on the right side of your page. You can do through the template section of your sandbox. It seems that most pages that are about people have this info box as a reference.

The biography section is good, however you can add links to increase visibility! More so, the first two sentences are a little big awkward. I think that if you simply put them together in a paragraph it would ease up the reading of it.

Good job and good luck on your work !

Anne-MarieDesjardins

Peer Review
Good article,

I would add a Bibliography section at the end so you can provide the reader of some good sources you used. I would also do the Filmography within a table frame so it looks more neat.

- Anastasia240195 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Anastasia240195 (talk • contribs) 22:34, 22 March 2016 (UTC)