User talk:Hadaban

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 * Okay, I don't think we've done this before on the RD; and your essay (and this reply) should probably be moved into your user space. But on the basis that shy bairns get nothing:

Umm. Will this do. Read Propaganda, Propaganda techniques (analyse each incident to show what techniques were being used), Black propaganda and see what concepts from these you can work into the essay. Good luck. --Tagishsimon (talk) 23:10, 22 November 2007 (UTC)
 * We don't know your age nor the standard expected of you, so it's a little hard to gauge the extent to which you'll satisfy your teacher.
 * Overall, some very good compelling writing in there. If you have plagiarised it, you'll probably be found out and suffer well deserved ignominy & shame; and if not, congratulations.
 * The structure is quite good too. There's ration between analysis and description is probably a little wrong ... on my monitor, you set the thing up in the three lines of the opening paragraph, and close it down again the the three lines of the final paragraph. Between that you've got four chunky 10-12 line descriptive paragraphs, each on of which (just about) concludes with a single sentence of analysis. So that's probably about 8 lines of analysis and 44 lines of description. Try to push the ratio to (err, I'm just pulling this figure out of the air) 18 to 44
 * Remember that you're being asked a how question, and so it is not enough to depend on descriptions of the events; you need to establish clearly how the event was used.
 * I'd change the first paragraph to something more along the lines of "this essay sets out to demonstrate by citing four examples, that techniques of propaganda were used, and to good effect, by American colonists" ... i.e. establish the thesis which the remaining essay will illustrate. You can bulk out para 1 by making further assertions about the nature of the use of, and the effects of propaganda, or by asserting that the acts of propaganda in your exercise do in fact have the characteristics of propaganda - such as caricature, exaggeration, over-simplification &c
 * I'd seek to make more observations at the close of each descriptive paragraph discussing the nature and characteristics of the propaganda used, more on its effects, and more on the context in which the propaganda was used - to inculcate particular views & provide support for the normalisation of those views.
 * Use your conclusion paragraph - which should be longer, to sum up in as many ways as you can how the propaganda was used ... you can be forgiven for recapitulating the techniques and processes of the art of propaganda, the rationale & purpose of the propaganda in the context of the war, particularly by trying to itemise the various sorts of effects being sought - again, inculcate views (e.g. general dislike of british; assertion that the british are defeatable; assertion that there are particular flaws inherent in the British, or in British rule), support views, change the status quo, demonstrate the strength and potential of the American side, &c &c.

Propaganda essay
It's good. The overall structure is sound, and the facts are pertinent and are presented in appropriate detail. If you want advice, I would tell you to write it long before it's due so that you'll have time to forget about it. That way, you'll be better able to go back and work on the writing itself, the grammar and sense, which are a little shaky as it stands but not too bad. --Milkbreath (talk) 23:12, 22 November 2007 (UTC)