User talk:Haern23/Coyote sandbox

Madison's Peer Review
Your Contribution/The "Great Basin Section" You have a great source for your section, your information is neutral and you did a good job of summarizing/ telling the myth. if you could I think it would be great if you could add another myth about coyote for that section then you could make the one you already have a little shorter. If you need help with sources there is a section in the Hamilton Library on the second floor with Native American books. The people there can help you a lot. Or if you can not find more information for that section the Plateau and southwest section are also lacking information.

Here are some specific notes about your section:

-In the first Paragraph of "Origin of the Horse" start a new paragraph at the "It begins" section to distinguish the previous sentences that give a summary of the myth with the more detailed telling of the myth.

-In the (current) second paragraph of "Origin of the Horse"is it Coyotes grandson or Coyote and Wolf's grandson?

-In the (current) 3rd paragraph of "Origin of the Horse"change "Older brothers warnings" to "warning"

In the (current) 3rd paragraph of "Origin of the Horse" can you make this statement more clear? "The loss of both their grandson"

In the (current) 4th paragraph of "Origin of the Horse" change "and he also agrees to help" to "he also agrees to do this"

In the (current) 4th paragraph of "Origin of the Horse" add "," to make "hiding waiting for them" to "hiding, waiting for them"

The Coyote (mythology) article in general: Here are some things that I think you could do for the rest of the article. In the "functional Cognates" section in the first paragraph I think you could add a citation of our text book there as well as cleaning up the sentice a little bit. I would also recommend moving the entire section to after the "by culture" to help with the flow of the article

In the "Other Native American tricksters" section the last sentice is not finished and the wording in general is a little funny.

In the "California" section 3rd paragraph I would change "A common theme is of coyote" to "A common theme of coyote is" I would also move that paragraph to in between the 5th and 6th paragraph of that section.

you could also in general add more citations to the article. I would also look at the sources for the 24-27 citations and ask Professor Gardner about them.

These are a lot of suggestions you do not have to do them all. If you have any questions about my comments please let me know. Ghostygoo (talk) 06:18, 15 April 2019 (UTC)


 * Ghostygoo Thanks for your excellent review and your very helpful and specific suggestions! You've given a lot of material to work with. Haern23 I especially recommend that, following your grammatical/stylistic updates, you follow Madison's suggestion of bulking up the sections on Plateau and Southwest, since you've done such a good job expanding the Great Basin story that the other sections will look very bare in comparison (although you did mention the Navajo page has additional information). After that, you might be interested in creating a more comprehensive section on Coyote as trickster (what a trickster is, how they function), and perhaps even chase down Levi-Strauss' mediator animal citation. Since we spoke about starting small and working in manageable chunks, just take things one section at a time and keep working away. This is turning into a really fantastic contribution! Gardneca (talk) 07:00, 17 April 2019 (UTC)