User talk:Halabazzaz/sandbox

Samuel's Peer Review
Just from reading the previous version of the article and the modifications you're formulating in your sandbox, I can already tell that you will improve the existing article significantly. For example, you actually seem to be dividing the article up into manageable pieces rather than just a single block of text as in the original. I also think that the sections that you have planned for are comprehensive and cover the basics of what most readers probably would want to know about the topic. I do, however, have some potential improvements in mind that you could add. In the "Aims" section, you seem to be laying out a background to the IPOB itself, and I think you might be able to make it read a little better. If you started it with the "The Indigenous People of Biafra is a separatist group..." and then "Its main aim is to create an independent state..." sentences, and then went onto the "Biafra had previously existed...," etc., afterward, it would read more linearly. Another recommendation would be that you should rework the existing article's intro section. For example, the "IPOB is registered in many countries, including the United States" sentence seems a little shoehorned, and is also un-cited (from what I can tell). Similarly, just in terms of that section's structure, those first three citations should be at the end of the sentence, not the middle of it. My last recommendation would be for you to link parts of your own contributions to other related articles, if you weren't already planning on it. Good luck with the rest of the entry!

SRRuj (talk) 01:28, 3 April 2019 (UTC) Samuel Ruggieri

Chris' Peer Review
This is a really interesting topic and you have added good information to it. One suggestion I have is to add hyperlinked to define terms within the article like all Wikipedia articles do. I would echo what Samuel said; to improve the format.organizational structure of the article. It would perhaps be beneficial to begin the article with a brief description of what the IPOB is. You should then go into a more detailed description with a beginning and end. This is minor but it is generally agreed that in academic settings you write out numbers lower than one-hundred. So when you write "8 protesters and 2 policemen were killed at a protest," you should write "eight" and "two" instead of the actual numbers. Finally, I would put the citations at the end of the last sentence for each section, not under the section. I do not know if it is just showing up like this because of my computer. All in all, the information is great and I look forward to reading the final draft.