User talk:HannSel19/On Such a Full Sea

This is a fantastic article!! Makes me realize I need to step up my game! Nicely done!

Greenlight
Hi Hannah,

I'll be honest, this is likely the best article draft I've looked over yet! It could definitely be a model of how to approach this project. You did a wonderful job creating the "Plot summary" section from scratch, but you also seemed cognizant that this wouldn't be much of a "Wikipedia writing assignment" if all we were doing was summarizing a plot. Your other sections that you expanded (or created, again, from scratch!) were just as high-quality, in my opinion.

I've also read the peer reviews you left others, and I appreciate how thorough and helpful you were for both Paula and Gissel. I'm not sure why you only had one person assigned to review your draft... I apologize for that happening. If you had already had two peer reviews, I would probably just move on, but I felt I owed it to you to look for any small mistakes, since you were robbed of a peer review. I found two extremely minor typos.

1) In this sentence of your "Lead" section: The entire population also is afflicted with "C," a disease affecting the rest of the population that eventually kills its everyone who has it you probably just need to delete "its."

2) In this sentence of your "Plot summary section: In the aftermath of this incident, Loreen's son, Sewey, begins to bring Fan food and drink Loreen continues to beat and humiliates Fan during her stay in the open country compound I think you just forgot a period after "drink."

The only other thing I could think of is maybe mention the "C-illness" earlier in the "Plot summary" section? I know you mentioned it in the "Lead" section, but some repetition between the lead and the article body is acceptable. I just noticed while reading your plot summary that the C-illness is only mentioned in the last paragraph, where you also explain what it is... I haven't read the book, but it might be too central to the story to not mention earlier? Unless the narrative doesn't reveal the C-illness until the end of the novel, in which case your plot summary makes perfect sense.

Anyway, absolutely fantastic job! After double checking for formatting, grammar, and style, you can begin publishing live on Wikipedia. (See the "Moving work out of the sandbox" module for more detailed instructions on how to do so, if needed.) --Sjnickerson (talk) 22:23, 20 April 2022 (UTC)


 * Hi Sam!
 * Sorry for the belated response! I really appreciate the thorough peer review you gave me, and I implemented your feedback into the final version of this article that got moved to the actual page.
 * Thank you so much! --HannSel19 (talk) 07:29, 26 April 2022 (UTC)