User talk:Hannah.pittman95/sandbox

Hi Hannah, I read your work so far and I think they are very promising and enriching for the article. However, I do find the neutrality tone can be improved. I think it's better to note who viewed these changes as presenting traditional massages, as the purpose of a wiki page is to provide messages rather than giving arguments.--Iriszhao0619 (talk) 06:38, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hello Hannah, I was very impressed to see how much headway you've made so far on drafting your article. I think the sources you have chosen have a lot of potential to contribute to the betterment of the article. Just make sure that you are being as neutral as possible with your language. Some advice I have for staying objective is to avoid emotional phrasing like "very" or "really".Jgomeskuehner (talk) 22:49, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hi Hannah, I peer reviewed your draft a couple weeks ago but didn't realize I should leave my thoughts about it in your talk page...apologies! I think you're making good progress in your article draft. As the Fatal Attraction Wikipedia page is already very thorough, I appreciate the edits you've made in order to solidify some more in depth information. My advice would be to be careful with word choice, as some of it comes off less neutral than I believe you're aiming for. Additionally, some of your language feels casual, when it can be diminished to be a little more factual and less conversational. Keep up the good work! Elizabeth.allen. (talk) 15:17, 19 March 2018 (UTC)