User talk:Hannahso608

Welcome!
Hello, Hannahso608, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:39, 14 September 2018 (UTC)

Jdb337 Peer Review for Drama (graphic novel) Edits: •Does the writer employ concise, plain language? Are any sentences awkward or lengthy? Are there any weasel words? What revisions or proofreading to individual sentences would you recommend? oThe second sentence “Drama’s graphic novel,” I would recommend changing to Telegemeier’s graphic novel or Drama the graphic novel. oTry to paraphrase when possible so there are limited direct quotes. o“Jaffe suggests that the depiction of a diverse student body, in regards to color, ethnicity, size, and sexual orientation in the novel helps to normalize the process of coming out, as it creates an understanding that everyone, regardless of appearance or background, experiences similar challenges with self-identity.” Sentence is long and run-on. I would try and make the sentence more concise or break it into 2 sentences. oTry to avoid quotes for “dimension” oWhen adding a name that will be referenced, make sure there are commas on either side of the name. o“Serves to validate their experience” Be clearer about what you are trying to say here oIn Abate paragraph cite more and remove quotations oAlso, be clear about when discussing the play in the book instead of another production. oExplain what being “colorblind” means. •Does each sentence convey a factual claim? Is each sentence cited? One citation per statement is the minimum expectation. No original research should be included. oClear that research has been done. oFacts are cited, but could be cited even more. •Does each sentence attribute viewpoints to the people who hold them/the source? Does the writer need to add signal phrases? oSignal phrases are properly used. oClear it is not the writer’s own opinion. •If writer has composed an entire paragraph, does it flow logically? Is anything unclear to you? oI liked her paragraphs regarding the Abate article. oFlows in both of the sections nicely. •Do you need more information or clarifications to understand the drafted materials? oThere are a few run-on sentences that can be cut down in order to limit the confusion for the reader. oNothing too complicated that cannot be understood. Jdb337 (talk) 18:18, 27 November 2018 (UTC)Jdb337