User talk:Harley Vistan

Welcome!
Hello, Harley Vistan, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:43, 25 February 2020 (UTC)

Annie's Peer Review
Overall, a great and thorough job so far! I like that you focus on multiple factors influencing multilingual education (research, external actors, etc) instead of only discussing the education itself. Structure is well-organized and it flows logically. A few suggestions: -I'd try reading out loud the introduction because some of the language there could be more concise. -There are a couple times you use "as we will see" or "as we can see below". I think the article's tone would be better without this use of "we" pronoun since it should be from an angle that doesn't really reflect the speaker's presence at all. -The reference to Ericka Albaugh and her article by name is something I haven't seen before in a Wikipedia article. It might be fine but it seems more common to just use "research shows..." or "scholars have found..." I also think maybe there shouldn't be a section JUST on one work by author, but on that general theory with a couple different viewpoints to make it more balanced. You could also explain a little more the implications of these actors' different preferences and how that would impact multilingual education. -It seems difficult because education in general in Africa is such a broad topic, but maybe focusing on a few case studies for specific countries would be helpful so it's clear you're not just generalizing across the whole continent. -Some general grammar and spelling errors throughout the article should be easy enough to fix by proofreading. -A couple citations could use links if you have them! I think the article so far is informative and also really closely related to my own topic, so it's really interesting to see this perspective! Good work!

Annie

Anniecprice (talk) 20:54, 3 April 2020 (UTC)