User talk:Hcrand/sandbox

For Dr. Danylevich, our (Paige, Alexandra, and Hannah) google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16__p9A0OO6HrkwytaimKUdjW8vbq5yhlSGVFLicBQ4w/edit

Meredith's peer review
For Alexandra:

I thought that this commentary on social impact was great! I had never considered the intricate relationship of loneliness and chronic conditions before, so it was helpful as someone who isn't particularly familiar with chronic conditions to learn about. I thought your contribution followed a logical structure, and provided a variety of sources that, while they lended different viewpoints, came together nicely. Your content also followed a neutral and unbiased tone; the only thing I thought sounded the littlest bit biased was the sentence "The connection between chronic illness and loneliness is established, yet often times ignored in treatment." Perhaps just adding "studies show" within the phrase "yet often times ignored in treatment" would help.

Also, I know this was likely just an oversight - the second to last line says "diagnosed with diagnosed with these conditions." Just wanted to let you know!

For Paige:

Loved your commentary on mental tolls for people with chronic conditions! I have briefly read about chronic pain in some other disability studies classes in conjunction with mental disability, and I appreciate that you shed light on how chronic conditions can be accompanied by extreme mental tolls for some folks. I thought your sources were good and were integrated in a very clear way. You demonstrate what you are talking about through the specific example of diabetes, which is helpful. I also have never heard about diabetes resilience theory, so it was interesting to learn about. The only suggestion I have for editing this paragraph is nit-picky: For the sentence that reads "Recent studies have shown that adults with chronic illness that restricts their daily life..." I think the wording here confused me a bit, maybe adding an "a" before chronic illness would help it flow.

I also enjoyed your contributions to the risk factors section - the fact about children and their likelihood of contracting psychiatric disorders later on is astonishing. You also use a very neutral and academic tone here.

For Hannah:

Your list of chronic illness narratives seems diverse and exhaustive - not much to criticize here!

I really enjoyed your discussion of chronic conditions/illness in the context of disability studies. I have read Wendell's piece that you mentioned. The only thing I would suggest for your discussion of Wendell is perhaps one more specific/succinct sentence about what her piece is about/gets at. The sentence "In "Toward a Feminist Theory of Disability", Wendell deconstructs philosophy's understanding of disability and interrogates the notion of independence in American society." is helpful, but could you perhaps add one sentence explaining this deconstruction and what Wendell suggests? Overall, you have an extremely neutral tone and your sources seem to be numerous and reputable.

Also, my apologies if you weren't finished editing. I don't think your paragraphs are live on the wiki yet, my mistake if I corrected anything too soon!

Mjn74 (talk) 19:38, 16 April 2019 (UTC)