User talk:Heather.Richmond/sandbox

Dr. V 11/5 feedback on early draft
Hi, HR - You have made a lot of progress! Here’s the next steps on your project:

Please work on the WP:Lead section to create a lead that summarizes the content and follows the standards. Pay special attention to the rules for the first sentence. The Lead paragraph needs to go above the content box. I started one for you. Can you build it? I suggest mentioning who are the primary advocates of child labor laws (the ILO – are their others?) as well as a summary of how child labor laws have been introduced across time.

Be sure to include only information about child labor laws, avoiding information that takes us off topic. For example, the role of child labor in the industrial revolution seems less related. You can always link to the Child labour article.

We need to merge your work with the extensive work on labor laws located in Child labour article. I suggest that you incorporate this material into the article and then we can link to the article. Please make sure there is no repetition.

The list of countries in the ILO needs to be removed – it takes your article off focus. There is already a list of ILO countries in the article ILO.

Can you work over the weekend to add in the new sections you have headings for? These look potentially quite interesting.

Onward! Prof.Vandegrift (talk) 17:55, 5 November 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review Feedback from Asievers4
Hi Heather.Richmond! I have to say I am really impressed by your article so far. Great job, I am excited to see the finished project.

Things that worked well:

•Really great word structure, very impressive. • You linked to other Wikipedia pages just the right amount. • Described the laws and events really well.

Things that need work:

•Need to increase citations at times. •Simplify the language at times.

Possible source:

http://eds.b.ebscohost.com/eds/ebookviewer/ebook/bmxlYmtfXzMwODM3NV9fQU41?sid=0fa8221b-4bab-4f88-a267-693e07f2db66@sessionmgr120&vid=1&format=EB&rid=4

I will make a few links to other pages here and there, and correct just general grammar mistakes. Small things here and there, this page does not need too much work!

Best, Asievers4 (talk) 08:10, November 12 2015 (UTC)