User talk:Helia max/sandbox

All my edits for the article are in the Sandbox

Peer Review
Lead Review

"Prolific and with a long career, her work draws from her Native worldview to comment on Indian identity, histories of oppression, and environmental issues that subverts and pushes new boundaries of American Modernism." ''This sentence feels a bit confusing. First, I think there should be a comma after “prolific.” I think when you say “that” at the end of the sentence it is not immediately clear to what you are referring. Maybe “environmental issues, which subverts and pushes new boundaries of American Modernism.”? Just an idea to clarify.''

"Finally, her work has been collected by museums nearest to one of her greatest sources of inspiration, New Mexico Museum of Art (Santa Fe)[14] and Albuquerque Museum.[15]" ''I know what you mean by this sentence, but it may be a little confusing to readers, as you never explicitly say what that source of her inspiration is in the sentence. Maybe if you say “greatest sources of inspiration, the New Mexico landscape. Her works can be found in the…[list of museums].”''

"She actively supports the Native arts community organizing exhibitions and project collaborations, and she has also participated in national commissions for public works." Needs a comma after “community.”

Biography Review

"As a result, Jaune, lived in various places of the Pacific Northwest and California." No need for the comma after “Jaune.” There is also an extra space between “of” and “the.”

"Smith worked alongside migrant workers in a Seattle farming community from the time she was eight years old to fifteen when school was not in session." I would rephrase to “community between the ages of eight to fifteen years old, when…” making sure to include the comma before “when”.

Awards and Honors Review

Everything here looks great!

''Overall, this looks really great! You have clearly done a lot a great work on this page!'' Thefriendliestflower (talk) 01:43, 29 April 2018 (UTC)

Thank you so much, Thefriendliestflower, for your excellent and useful feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Helia max (talk) 22:02, 29 April 2018 (UTC) Helia max (talk) 22:03, 29 April 2018 (UTC) Helia_max

Article feedback
Hi Helia Max,

Good work on your article! I know you had some issues at the beginning when other editors contributed material you were planning to add. In a way this is actually great, as it means multiple people are working to improve the article. I can see that you made significant additions to the article and many smaller editions, such as copy-editing or adding the "further reading" item, Jaune Quick-To-See Smith: An American Modernist. The additions you contributed to the "early life" and "education" sections really help to flush out the article. Despite your initial planned edits being "scooped" you successfully found other places to improve the article.

I appreciated your reflection post on what it means to work on a collaborative editing project and find sources for an under-represented artist--and the responsibility that comes with shaping the online representation of a person. No small thing! Despite the lack of feedback from the Wikipedia world at this point, your article has received 999 views since you've been working on it, and you added 8,109 characters! I am particularly appreciative that you added the Chazen Museum to the list of museums holding her work. Nice work on creating the two-column format!

I think your strategy to examine other artists' articles for content and structure was a good approach and resulted in a much more comprehensive article on Jaune. I did deduct a few points for the lack of a formal article critique, which was part of the assignment for week 9, due 3/28. Nice work on keeping an unbiased voice--it's very difficult, I know.

Thanks so much for everything you put into this! Zipperbrown (talk) 18:00, 7 May 2018 (UTC)