User talk:Henryasulin18/sandbox

I love your topic about racism in sports, and I think it’s especially relevant given what is currently occurring in the NFL. The first suggestion I have would be to perhaps break up the second sentence into two, so it reads, “Sterling owned the Clippers from 1981 through the 2013-14 season, when he was banned for life by the NBA. He was then forced to sell the team for racially insensitive remarks he made about African-Americans.” This would make each point stand out on its own, instead of being in a run-on sentence. Secondly, removing “April 28th” after “The following day” can help to reduce redundancy. Third, the phrase, “some even cut ties with the organization for good,” could be changed to, “some even permanently cut ties with the organization.” Fourthly, the third sentence in the Laura Ingraham section could be edited to, “In February of 2018, Ingraham was criticized on her series of comments involving….” Other than these formatting edits, I think your contributions to your wikipedia article are great and effectively adds on to your topic about racism in sports. Xinyuliu2000 (talk) 17:36, 21 October 2018 (UTC)