User talk:Henrykuv/sandbox

Great overall structure with headings and links. I would try and put all of your references at the end of the article and not in between because that becomes confusing. Also, in your discoveries paragraph there is a comment from another classmate, so you should move that to the talk space part. Carlapicasso (talk) 12:57, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Henry, I like your use of subtitles and how you explain the difference between the catacombs. This content is very interesting! But as I read the content, it seems as though you are writing about the diets of the people who were in the catacombs and not the catacombs themselves. If that was the section you were assigned, then great job! Cbettica65 (talk) 12:54, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This looks good, but it seems like it is focused too much on their dietary style rather than the actual catacombs. It would be nicer if you would link the two better. Also, the citation should be located at the bottom of the page instead of in the middle. If these are fixed, I think the article would look much nicer. Bokyung0327 (talk) 12:58, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Is above the writing discoveries header just notes? I would label that, so our wikipedia editor is aware, and maybe change the citations so they are with the section. Maybe you could link some things to help people get a better understanding without you having to explain more. Oliviaohearn (talk) 13:04, 3 April 2019 (UTC) Good Start! However, you have information thats sitting above the discover part and I was confused if that belong to the Main heading or if it was a subheading because it seems out of place and a little choppy. However, you have good citing and interesting information!Miaeschlidt (talk) 13:09, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Hey Henry, I really like how you made subsections and divided your work. General description for dietary style is good but I would like to learn more about the catacombs itself. They sound interesting and is more related to your topic as well. The format of your citation should change as well. Robertpark1999 (talk) 13:14, 3 April 2019 (UTC)robertpark1999

As of now the information about the diet is directly under the "Discoveries" heading and I assume other information will be placed under there as well. Because of this, maybe you should make diet a subheading under discoveries. Fields18x (talk) 13:18, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good job! Maybe you can reword the first paragraph, it seems repetitive. Also, I think you should further explain the discovery section because the first paragraph of the section is unclear. I think you should further explain, "It can be determined that the child had not begun to wean due to the fact that the δ15N values had not begun to decline."Awhite07 (talk) 13:21, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good header. Expand on what population in specific used this diet and where they learned it from if possible. Ddurandisse (talk) 13:33, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This has a great structure and a great start, along with expanding and elaborating in each section maybe also try to work on transitioning between paragraphs to help the article flow better. Sophieb905 (talk) 00:20, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Echoing Sophie's comments, the paragraphs are quite rigid. Explain why it is important that we preserve these cites or why we should know about these artifacts. I am not entirely sure what this has to do with the "Discoveries of the Diet" part but maybe say, since it should be simple enough for most to understand, if these artifacts were found there or around the Jewish Catacombs... Regards, Rapidrider (talk) 16:01, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

This is a great article and will be a great addition, make sure your citations are linked correctly but other thatn that very good job Casey518 (talk) 23:50, 5 April 2019 (UTC)Casey O'Connor