User talk:Heronhaus

Welcome!
Hello, Heronhaus, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:30, 28 August 2016 (UTC)

Hi
Hello Heronhaus,this is Haifa your class mate form Emerging technologies class. Thank you for leaving a comment on my page I hope you are doing well on class too. looking forward to share all the knowledge we get form editing on Wikipedia. Haifaalburek (talk) 20:31, 11 September 2016 (UTC)

Getting started
Hi Heronhaus. The best way to find an article is to start by looking for topics that interest you, ones you know something about, ones that might be relevant to your class. Click on some of the categories at the bottom of the page, and poke around the related articles in those categories. Is something missing that you'd expect to be there? Are some of them much shorter than you'd expect them to be? These would be good candidates to work on.

Although it's aimed at instructors, you might want to check out this training module as well. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:28, 20 September 2016 (UTC)

Review of your article
Currently, the article Web hosting service is actually not too bad. The two biggest issues that I can see right now are:

[Belinrahs|talktome⁄ ididit] 00:00, 4 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Too much of the article consists of a list. Under the subsection "Larger hosting services", there is a very long bulleted list that details types of hosting services. This would be better presented as prose (see WP:USEPROSE and WP:LISTDD).
 * Very few references. The article only has 4 references, despite the length. This article can benefit greatly from the addition of more reliable sources.

Review of your draft
I've looked over your draft of Web hosting service located in your sandbox, and overall I think you're off to a good start. There are some errors - for instance, under Consumer, "Shared hosting" should be a section heading, but it is body text. You might consider leaving the structure of the existing article mostly alone and adding new sections, like History and Technology that you have proposed. The existing structure for the content that is there is pretty good and fits Wikipedia's style guide correctly. [Belinrahs|talktome⁄ ididit] 06:05, 13 October 2016 (UTC)

Photo Sharing
The article that I am critiquing is "Photo Sharing".

In the introduction to the Photo sharing article is the following statement:

“While photoblogs tend only to display a chronological view of user-selected medium-sized photos, most photo sharing sites provide multiple views (such as thumbnails and slideshows), the ability to classify photos into albums, as well as add annotations (such as captions or tags) and”

I find that this statement uses generalities in the form of “tend to” and “most photo sharing sites”. These statements, I think are too general and need to be more specific.

“Some cameras now come equipped with wireless networking and similar sharing functionality themselves.”

This sentence is also very general and doesn’t specify how wireless networking is related to photo sharing. The statement “similar sharing functionality” I feel is also too general a term in this sentence.

The history section I feel can be expanded, especially given how much photo sharing has evolved in the recent years.

As the group discussed in their presentation, the "Revenue models" topic can have many of the topics that follow it, such as "Subscription-based" and Peer-to-Peer", to name a few, be sub-topics of "Revenue models" instead of their own topic. Also, the "Photo tagging" and "Geotagging" topics can be sub-topics of "Photos Classification".

It may be a good idea to add a section on the technologies used in photo sharing.

Heronhaus (talk) 02:47, 15 October 2016 (UTC)

Home Automation Critique
The history section needs to be expanded to include more recent developments in home automation. The section talking about the “three generations of home automation” can include more detail on each generation.

I think that the applications and Technologies section should be split into two distinct sections, one for Applications and another for Technology. The section also doesn’t talk very much about the technologies of home automation products and how those products communicate with each other and the end user’s systems.

I think that the section on protocols is well done, giving a brief explanation of what protocols are before listing the protocols used, the type of media that protocol uses, the data rate and notes for each protocol. There is also a section at the end of the list explaining the acronyms used. I think that this section is very well done, and the only change that I think might be made is adding more protocols if any are missing.

The gallery has some photos of various home automation products which I think helps the reader to understand more about the hardware that is used in home automation.

All in all, I think that this article has some good sections while others can use some work to improve them.

Heronhaus (talk) 02:54, 15 October 2016 (UTC)

Feedback
Hi Heronhaus. Your off to a solid start on your draft. I do have two concerns
 * You don't have enough references. Every statement in the article must be directly tied to a supporting source. At the very least, there should be one reference per paragraph, and the paragraph shouldn't continue beyond the last reference. Any statement after the last reference in a paragraph is unreferences.
 * You could add more links to other articles. Any term that the average reader might not know should be linked the first time it appears in the article. That way readers click through and learn more about a topic. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 03:18, 24 October 2016 (UTC)

Yes, "overlinking" as they call it on Wikipedia, is a real thing. Focus on terms that are likely to be unfamiliar to the average reader, and only link the first time they show up in the article. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:59, 31 October 2016 (UTC)


 * This section needs references: User:Heronhaus/sandbox
 * This section needs references: User:Heronhaus/sandbox
 * The last two sections are probably too short, and should probably be merged into the Security section above. They're also phrased as advice; change that to more general statements about passwords and logs.

Other than that, it looks good. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:49, 8 November 2016 (UTC)