User talk:Hetal05/sandbox

Great job on the intro. Definitely described your disease very well and gave the audience a good understanding of what it is. The pictures you have chosen are great and are very relevant. Just make sure that you can legally post these on your page. When it comes to the symptoms section, I liked how descriptive you were on all aspects of them. The information is great. My only recommendation is to see if you can implement some bullet points in each section rather than just paragraph format (makes it more engaging for the reader). Although some parts are still going to be added in, what you have so far is great and well done. Looking forward to seeing the progression of this page. Cory

Sweiner02 (talk) 01:44, 6 April 2014 (UTC)
 * Obviously you're still missing several sections, but the sections you have are looking very promising. Signs and symptoms in particular is very detailed and very clear.
 * Try to link to more wikipedia articles, especially for uncommon terms like show up in the symptoms
 * Mental retardation as a term is really drifting out of fashion. I would recommend looking for other terms used for this disease
 * It's really great that you were able to find such good pictures for your article.

Your article is detailed and very informative. I like that your symptoms are elaborate and well divided between the two types. I would say try to link more terms, cause i came across a lot of terms you could link, besides the ones that you have already done, like Perthes disease in the introduction and a couple others in the symptoms. The formatting is good with the references, so are the pictures you included. You probably just need to finish the other headings in a similar fashion and you should be good to go.

Seira D'cruz — Preceding unsigned comment added by Seiradcruz (talk • contribs) 15:41, 8 April 2014 (UTC)

Your article looks very thorough and looks close to getting done. The formatting is very good, as you had put all the headers, some links, photos and citations. It really looks like a real wikipedia article. With that being said, in terms of content I would link out "obesity" and "dysmorphic features" in the first sentence. In signs and symptoms, I would do the same for " supraorbital ridges." I see that there are some sections you still need to get to (recent research), but I think from what you do have you are on the right tract and you're article will be extremely useful for those learning about the disease. Great Job!

Zjsyed (talk) 17:40, 8 April 2014 (UTC)