User talk:Hguenard/New Sandbox

= Instructor Comments on Draft/Peer review #2=

RachelKWalsh thanks for your insightful comments on the content of the page. I would have liked to see a bit more editing on your part, but you touch on really key aspects for improving this article. Grade: 12/15

Hguenard thanks for responding to your peer reviewer and explaining how you will progress over the next few weeks. I think your reviewer's suggestions are all very good and I'd like to give you some additional suggestions for improvement. So, you should think about the overall organization of this page and how it could be best presented to someone who has no knowledge of this topic. Even though this is a legendary figure, you might look at some similar pages to see how they are organized: I did one last semester on Phye and some of your peers are currently working on related topics like Rhea Silvia and Lucretia (you can check out their edits and progress through the Wikipedia dashboard). So, yes, you should add more info to the 'legend' section at the beginning, but I think it would be great if there were indeed subsections outlining the different ancient accounts of this legend - one each for Livy, Varro, and Propertius would be wonderful. If you don't have translations of these texts I can help you find them online, just send me an email and we can discuss! Then, after you present all the different legends, you then can have your sections about Tarpeia as a Vestal Virgin (and yes, make this about HER as a Vestal Virgin and less about the VVs in general), and end with the symbolism (the water symbolism is related to her role as a VV so should come after that). Lastly, if you can find any sources about Tarpeia in modern scholarship or Tarpeia in later art, that might be a fun section to add to the end! Let's chat more about this once you figure out your next steps. Keep up the great work! Grade: 13/15 Gardneca (talk) 12:29, 25 March 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review #2
Overall I found your article very interesting and informative. It is clear and stays relevant to the topic, diverges a little in the Vestal Virgins section.

The addition of Symbolism is a really good idea and I agree with adding more. As long as they develop from or are used to interpret Tarpeia's story.

I think The Vestal Virgins section needs more information that connects to Tarpeia, and explains in more detail why it is relevant to her. The last part of that same section (significance of her story) could be edited to flow better with the rest of the information. The jump from Vestal Virgins to Tarpeia disrupts the reading flow.

Your sources look great as well. I don't know how many there are for this topic, but I think it would improve the article if you expanded on what Varro and Propertius wrote about her. The first paragraphs explaining who she was and what she is known as could be more detailed.

User:RachelKWalsh RachelKWalsh (talk) 22:29, 16 March 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for your comments and suggestions RachelKWalsh. I will be sure to clean up the Vestal Virgins section in the next couple days, I agree it is quite choppy. I will also expand on Varro and Propertius to give the article some more substance. Haven't decided on what form I will do that yet, but I have enough material from my sources to write something.

Hguenard (talk) 01:36, 19 March 2020 (UTC)