User talk:HippieShake

Hi, I'm new here with this handle. An educator assigned me the project of starting from scratch, finding an article in need of certain improvements, and making those improvements as quickly as possible.

I'm not editing anything I've ever edited before with any other handle, and I'm not editing anything with which I have any interests or entanglements.

I've chosen the article DFA Records, for the simple reason that I'm a music fan and the page was kind of confusing as I found it.

Here's a pretty thorough breakdown of my editing decisions so far on that article:

The descriptive phrase “mutual friend” used to describe Jonathan Galkin in the first paragraph implies that the other two members of the trio knew him independently of one another before meeting. The reference does not support this; it uses the term “mutual friend” in a different context. I changed the wording to reflect this.

The parenthetical phrase in Sentence 1 of Paragraph 2 of the History Section, clarifying that the musical act The Juan Maclean consists of musician Juan Maclean, seemed to render that sentence’s wording awkward without adding valuable information. As that act has its own internal link, readers may follow it to learn more. Therefore I deleted the parenthetical phrase.

A later statement in Paragraph 2 of the History section was ambiguously worded, and seemed to assert that DFA secured a distribution deal with EMI for The Rapture after that band had already signed with Universal. Upon taking a close look at the provided reference I determined the source’s meaning: DFA’s distribution deal with EMI pertains to DFA artists, not to acts that were formerly DFA artists who have since signed to major labels independently. I changed the text to reflect this unambiguously.

Similarly, the statement in the same paragraph that DFA’s releases include The Rapture’s album Echoes proved incorrect: as a production team, DFA produced the album, but as a label they did not release it. They did release a single by the act. I changed the wording to reflect this.

Due to the high degree of ambiguity surrounding the differentiation between DFA’s work as a production team and their work as a label, I have broken paragraphs in this section to differentiate these activities.HippieShake (talk) 16:34, 12 November 2008 (UTC)