User talk:History2112/sandbox/firstedit

Instructor Comments
BeckAnn B this is an excellent review. You do a fantastic job of going through your peer's work line by line - this methodical approach is much appreciated! My only suggestion for improvement would be to tackle grammar/style in addition to your great observations about content. Keep up the great work! Grade: 20/20

History2112 you've received a really wonderful peer review, so take the time to incorporate all their suggestions. The work you've done is really good so far, and after you work through your peer's suggestions I'm looking forward to seeing more content about the reception of this myth in modern scholarship. Also, to clarify, your section that begins 'According to the Roman historian Livy' will be its own section and not part of the lead, right? If not, it should be...! Watch your grammar and writing style, there are a few places where the sentences can be tidied up a bit (' It is said that after the foundation of the city that' - second 'that' not needed); try reading your work out loud, or make a quick visit to the writing centre for a second opinion. Keep up the good work and keep adding more of that great content! Grade: 18/20 Gardneca (talk) 00:42, 4 March 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review
History2112

''Peer Review: The formatting was hard to get turned over, so hopefully, I managed to successfully bold your original work. My comments will be in italics.

It seems my transfer of your article did not transfer the citations, but I am looking off the original for reference and will refer to the numbers when needed''

The Rape of the Sabine Women, also known as The Abduction of the Sabine Women or The Kidnapping of the Sabine Women, was an incident in Roman mythology in which the men of Rome committed a mass abduction of young women from the other cities in the region. It has been a frequent subject of artists and sculptors, particularly during the Renaissance and post-Renaissance eras.

I like your addition of alternate titles here as it helps the reader connect the story with other possible versions of the myth.

The word "rape" is the conventional translation of the Latin word raptio used in the ancient accounts of the incident. Modern scholars tend to interpret the word as "abduction" or "kidnapping" as opposed to actual sexual assault. Controversy remains, however, as to how the acts committed against the women should be judged.

''The addition of the word actual here doesn't seem necessary to me, while I can see that you are trying to separate it from the other interpretations of the myth, it carries a bias. It downplays the violence the women would have possibly gone through. I suggest replacing it with the word physical. ''

According to Roman historian Livy, the abduction of Sabine women takes place in the early history of Rome shortly after its founding in the mid 8th century BCE and was perpetrated by Romulus and his predominately male followers. '''It is said that after the foundation of the city that the population was solely comprised of male bandits, Latins, and other italic peoples. With Rome growing at such a steady rate in comparison to its neighbors, Romulus became concerned with maintaining the cities strength. His main concern was that without any women inhabitants their was no chance at populating the city, and if without the ability to maintain its population the city may not last longer than a generation. On the advice of the senate the Romans then set out into the surrounding regions in the search for wives to establish families with. The Romans negotiated unsuccessfully with the all the peoples that they appealed to including the Sabines, who populated the neighboring areas.'''

''Your beginning of the passage, adding the types of residents Rome originally had, is great. It helps contextualize why the Romans viewed the abduction as necessary for continuing the population. The citation you added for this information (1) is directly after this line, but the next few lines you add have no citations. I would consider whether this information all came from the same source. If so I would move the citation down a few lines so all your information is cited, but if not, then I suggest finding a source for your following lines.''

The Sabines feared the emergence of a rival society and refused to allow their women to marry the Romans. Consequently, the Romans devised a plan to abduct the Sabine women during the festival of Neptune Equester. They planned and announced a marvelous festival of games to attract people from all the nearby towns.

''The use of the word marvellous is quite biased (also misspelt above) I suggest directly citing this line from your source and making it a quote. (Such as scholar ____ said that they held a marvellous festival) or adding a primary source to back up this information. The next citation you have added(2) is a few lines down and I wasn't sure if this information came from that source if so, please consider adding this to contextualize the passage: Livy stated that the Romans held... ''

According to Livy, many people from Rome's neighboring towns including folk from the Caeninenses, Crustumini, and Antemnates, '''attended the festival along with the Sabines, eager to see the newfound city for themselves. At the festival, Romulus gave a signal by "rising and folding his cloak and then throwing it round him again," at which the Romans grabbed the Sabine women and fought off the Sabine men. In total, thirty Sabine women were abducted by the Romans at the festival. All of the women abducted were said to have been virgins except for one married woman, Hersilia, who would later become Romulus' wife and be the one to intervene and stop the war between the Romans and the Sabines.''' The indignant abductees were soon implored by Romulus to accept Roman husbands.

''I enjoy the use of a quote here as it adds to the passage quite nicely. I only suggest adding that the quote is from Livy in the passage. You have the citation below, but I believe adding it to the passage will help the reader separate Livy's interpretation of the incident from other primary sources. There are very many different versions of this myth, so I think it is imperative to make sure they are being distinguished from one another. ''

'''Historical Analysis

The motivation behind the abduction of the Sabine women is contested among ancient sources. While Livy writes that Rome's motivation for abducting the Sabine women was solely to increase the cities population, scholars like Dionysius of Halicarnassus argue that it was an attempt to secure an alliance with the Sabine's through the women's newly founded relationships with Roman men.'''

I really like how you are acknowledging the different interpretations of the myth here.

Livy claims that no direct sexual assault took place during the abduction, but some accounts, when compared with actual recorded history, suggest a seduction based on promises by the Romans. Livy says that Romulus offered them free choice and promised civic and property rights to women. According to Livy, Romulus spoke to them each in person, declaring '''"that it was all owing to the pride of their parents in denying right of intermarriage to their neighbours. They would live in honourable wedlock, and share all their property and civil rights, and —dearest of all to human nature-would be the mothers of freemen." '''

''I like your addition of the quote here. I think this would be a good place to expand upon in your final draft and edits. Above you mention other scholars such as Dio, and I feel that the page would greatly benefit from having information from people other than Livy. This page, in general, is very heavy on Livy sources (which is hard to avoid), but if you decide to add more to this section then I suggest adding other interpretations from different scholars. ''

Nicolas Poussin[edit]

Nicolas Poussin produced two major versions of this subject, which enabled him to display to the full his unsurpassed antiquarian knowledge, together with his mastery of complicated relations of figures in dramatic encounter. One, now at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, was executed in Rome in 1634–35. It depicts Romulus at the left giving the signal to the Romans for the abduction.

The second version, of 1636–37, now at the Louvre Museum, shows that, though some of the principal figures are similar, Poussin had not exhausted the subject. The architectural setting is more developed.

''Since none of this section was bolded on your page, I was unsure if this was something you intended to add onto later. If so, I would greatly consider adding a citation, as none of the information for Nicolas Poussin is cited. The language also seems to be quite biased, leading me to believe it was either someone's opinion or taken from a source. I bolded the part above that I believe should be a quote or taken out''

'''Peter Paul Rubens[edit]

Main article: The Rape of the Sabine Women (Rubens)

Peter Paul Rubens painted his version of the Rape of Sabine women around 1635–40. It now resides in the National Gallery, London. The painting depicts the moment Romulus gave the signal for the Romans to abduct the Sabine women. Ruben emphasizes the violence of the abduction and sexualizes it by depicting women with exposed breasts and a solider lifting up a woman's skirt. '''

I like the addition of this section, very unbiased, straight forward and clear to the reader.

Jacques-Louis David[edit]

The Intervention of the Sabine Women (1799).

Jacques-Louis David painted the other end of the story, when the women intervene to reconcile the warring parties. The Sabine Women Enforcing Peace by Running Between the Combatants (also known as The Intervention of the Sabine Women) was completed in 1799. It is in the Louvre Museum.

David had worked on it from 1796, when France was at war with other European nations, after a period of civil conflict culminating in the Reign of Terror and the Thermidorian Reaction, during which David himself had been imprisoned as a supporter of Robespierre. After David's estranged wife visited him in jail, he conceived the idea of telling the story, to honor his wife, with the theme being love prevailing over conflict. The painting was also seen as a plea for the French people to reconcile their differences after the bloodshed of the French revolution.

The painting depicts Romulus's wife Hersilia — the daughter of Titus Tatius, leader of the Sabines — rushing between her husband and her father and placing her babies between them. A vigorous Romulus prepares to strike a half-retreating Tatius with his spear, but hesitates. Other soldiers are already sheathing their swords.

The rocky outcrop in the background is the Tarpeian Rock.[citation needed]

''I was your note here that you plan to find and add a citation for this section as it is missing one. Good find.''

Mathisen, Ralph W. (2019). Ancient Roman Civilization. New York: Oxford University Press. p. 60.

"Titus Livius (Livy), The History of Rome, Book 1, chapter pr". www.perseus.tufts.edu. Retrieved 2020-02-07.

Livy, Ab Urbe Condita Book 1 Ch. 9, p. 15.

Brown, Robert (1995). "Livy's Sabine Women and the Ideal of Concordia". Transactions of the American Philological Association. 125: 291–319 – via JSTOR.

"Peter Paul Rubens | The Rape of the Sabine Women | NG38 | National Gallery, London". www.nationalgallery.org.uk. Retrieved 2020-02-11.

"Peter Paul Rubens | The Rape of the Sabine Women | NG38 | National Gallery, London". www.nationalgallery.org.uk. Retrieved 2020-02-12.

Jacques-Louis DAVID (1799), The Intervention of the Sabine Women, retrieved 2020-02-11

''Your sources are good, but I do find your information based mainly on Livy's History of Rome. As I suggested above, I would consider adding more primary sources to the page.

Overall I found your additions very informative and unbiased. Your grammar was good and your sentences were clear and easy to understand.

Good job!

BeckAnn B (talk) 04:09, 2 March 2020 (UTC)''