User talk:Hivseminar/sandbox

Some work -- moe required--RJBazell (talk) 16:55, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

Andres' Comments
Heyo great work there's a lot of very thorough and well discussed new material. The article flows well and there is cohesion between sections. Professional and neutral tone is maintained throughout. Just some things to keep in mind: Great work :) Ba2136 (talk) 04:44, 30 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Maybe go back and make sure your intro incorporates all the points throughout the article now that there is so much new stuff
 * The first sentence of the "Importance of drug regimen adherence" section feels a little clunky
 * Maybe expand on the primary resistance section, it feels a little short... or integrate it into another section
 * Make sure there is enough citing of sources

Eden's Comments
Hey! I love how you broke up your information into ample headers and subsections, it made it a lot more visually pleasing! As Andres said, you keep a good neutral tone through the whole article! Just make sure to lengthen your lead section to make sure it prefaces everything you talk about!Nice job!--Alignad123 (talk) 18:05, 30 October 2018 (UTC)

Mitchell's peer review
This article has very good content!! I think everything in the article so far is very pointed and relevant to the topic which can be pretty dense. You do a good job of writing in a way that is easy to understand. Suggestions:

The Mechanisms of Resistance Heading seems to be a little broad for what's under it; I think you could easily split it into multiple sections with the information (especially causes of resistance).

Your date stamp for the 7th quotation made me unable to access the link, but I'm not sure if that's a problem.

You could do more hyperlinks to wikipedia sources, especially for more complex terminology that have more detailed explanations on a full wikipedia page. For example, cross resistance

Otherwise it's a great article and very informative!

Mitchell.harpenau (talk) 18:07, 30 October 2018 (UTC)