User talk:Hmundh

Welcome
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We hope you like it here and encourage you to stay even after your assignment is finished! Stuartyeates (talk) 08:40, 30 March 2014 (UTC)

New version of Clearasil
Hi Hmundh,

I noticed you made a new revision \ revision for the Clearasil page. This new revision has some rather extensive issues which led me to revert the page to the previous version instead. The issues i spotted in the page are the following:
 * The new revision is not neutral and unbiased in tone. In fact, it pretty much reads as if it were a sales brochure released by Clearasil. Some specific examples (Note that these are examples, not all instances that occur in the article:
 * "With the brand located in over 70 countries, millions of people around the world look to the extensive range of Clearasil products" - Marketing speech.
 * "provide a top quality acne fighting formula" - peacock wording
 * "This expansion helped sustain Clearail's position as the #1 brand in acne treatment" - More marketing speech.

Considering the entire article it feels as if the aforementioned primary sources were rephrased and used as a basis for the article. Policy wise paraphrasing is fine as long as the content isn't to closely paraphrased but in this instance it results in an article that has a marketing feel to it instead of being neutral and objective encyclopedic material. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to drop a note on my talk page.
 * The article uses only primary sources. The article itself contains references which is perfect, but all of these sources are either made by Clearasil or the ﻿Reckitt Benckiser Group, the parent group governing the Clearasil brand. Since these sources are written by the same company that makes the product these are considered not reliable - instead Reliable, secondary sources should be used.

Kind regards, Excirial ( Contact me, Contribs ) 19:00, 2 April 2014 (UTC)