User talk:Hnas111/Movement in learning

Review your work
Hello Hnas111,

I reviewed the edits you made to the article, Movement in Learning. Have a great day. Moralej2 (talk) 19:27, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

Instructor Feedback
You are off to a strong start. I have a few suggestions:

Applications in the Classroom Section The existing paragraph has too many quotations and Wikipedia discourages this. I suggest paraphrasing this material and removing the quotes.

Also rewrite this sentence in more professional language, “Taking brain breaks is a win-win situation.”

Your addition of the science choreography material is strong, but you should remove this sentence because it adds unnecessary detail that the few interested people can see by accessing the reference: “This project is introduced by Laura Grabel, Michael Weir, Laurel F. Appel, Elizabeth Johnson, Richard McCarthy, and Liz Lerman.”.

Misspelled word: “core principal” should be “core principle”

There should not be any in-text citations that use parentheses with author names and years. Wikipedia only uses footnotes. Please reformat those citations.

This sentence is using second person voice and sounds like instructions for teachers and should be rewritten in third person voice: “To enhance science and math lessons, consider incorporating Drums Alive Academic Beats for innovative ideas.”

This seems like a very strong claim so I would double check the source material to make sure it is accurate: “Simple movements can have the ability to improve cognition in just seconds (Krock & Hartung, 1992)” Lndmayg (talk) 10:44, 6 April 2024 (UTC)