User talk:Hodgestr/sandbox

Trevor's Peer Review
General: Looks like you're expanding on pre-existing article with some minor edits, some citations, and (so far) one major addition of a new section. So far all this looks good, need at least two more sources to meet class criteria but I'm assuming those will be added shortly. You do a good job of adding content that ties in well with material that's already there. I'd recommend even editing some of the pre-existing stuff because it can at times be difficult to read or understand. Be sure to proofread everything before you add it formally, but I assumed your sandbox was already just rough edits and not finalized yet so this is a minor suggestion.

Adding a paragraph under Calabria and Sicily portion: Good overview of the two most important tactics he used, and what motivated him to do so. This section in the article is pretty important and there's more information that could be added to it, so I think adding a chunk makes sense to the current structure. Need to explain or link article, put quotations around “wait and see” tactic.

Malta addition: Bulk of the paragraph already looks solid, so the minor change seems reasonable. Maybe incorporate it more into the preceding sentence if that’s the only addition you have, not sure needs to be its own new sentence.

New heading: Roger I and the Crusades Seems to only pertain to the First Crusade, so maybe make that clear in heading. Be sure to proofread and spell check any and all additions before adding them to the page. Good use of neutral language. New addition adds nicely to what was already there.

Villegasa (talk) 02:41, 26 November 2018 (UTC)