User talk:Hogan Palmer/Trinity Bay (Texas)

External Review
Hello Hogan Palmer - My name is Jolie, and I'm the Project Coordinator for the WikiProject Limnology & Oceanography team. Your external review for your article on the Trinity Bay in Texas has been posted below. If you have any questions about your review, or would like to clarify anything, please feel free to get in touch with me by leaving a message on my talk page, and I'll pass it along to your external reviewer. Thanks, and all the best as you wrap up your Wikipedia editing assignment!

EXTERNAL REVIEW - Hi Hogan Palmer, I’m an aquatic scientist based in southern Ontario, Canada. My PhD research examined the chemistry of large rivers and their estuaries, so I’m really interested in your Wikipedia article on Trinity Bay in Texas! It’s quite a bit further south than any of the other estuaries that I’ve studied, but I’ll do my best here to pass along some useful feedback to you. I think you’ve done a really good job expanding this article. It was quite short before, and lacked any organization. I like the table of contents that you’ve added, and I think that this structure not only makes the article easier to read – it also makes it much easier for other Wikipedians to add content to the page in future.

You’ve made really good use of cross-links in your article – these are really valuable additions to Wikipedia pages, because they allow readers to quickly and easily access more information. Here are some more specific comments and suggestions, organized by section:

Overview
 * Is it possible to add some information about the economy and activity in the bay? For example - is there a lot of shipping in the bay? Or recreational use? You allude to this later on in your article, but it would be interesting to see this information up-front.
 * What is the land use surrounding Trinity Bay?

Wildlife (watch the capitalization in your section header!)
 * Your introductory paragraph provides some important information and context. Be careful of capitalization (e.g. Bay in the second sentence), word choice (spectacled in the third sentence), and sentence structure (the last two sentences should be combined into one).
 * At the end of the paragraph – change the text to read “…wood duck and goose” to meet Wikipedia’s writing standards (no overly descriptive language).
 * Your two lists are a great start, and the links to other Wikipedia pages are very valuable additions. Are there any other species you could add here? For example, other crustacean species? Or perhaps a list of aquatic vegetation?
 * Watch capitalization in waterfowl (remove the capital F)

Significant Events
 * For the Atlas Air section – be careful in your writing not to be overly descriptive.
 * In the Hurricane Harvey section – add links to the Wikipedia pages on Hurricane Harvey, Galveston Bay, and dolphins. Also, add citations for your statements of fact (2nd largest petrochemical industry hub, the 22000 barrels that were released – and clarify that these barrels of petrochemicals were spilled into the bay).
 * In your second sentence in the Hurricane Harvey section – I think it would be more accurate to say that Galveston Bay is made up of the main bay (called Galveston), along with the Trinity, East, and West Bays.

References
 * Make sure that this section has a proper header (this will likely be solved when you merge your edits into the existing article)

One other suggestion – since I’m not familiar with the area, I wasn’t sure how Trinity Bay joins up with the rest of the Galveston Bay system. The map of Trinity Bay on the existing Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Trinity_Bay_(Texas)&oldid=1008506848) is hard to make out since it’s zoomed out to include all of Texas. It might be good to add a map that specifically shows where Trinity Bay sits in the Galveston system – this is one I found on Wikipedia that can easily be reused since it already meets all of the requirements for use on Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galveston_Bay#/media/File:Galveston_bay.png. This map would also illustrate the different parts of Galveston Bay that you talk about in the section on Hurricane Harvey.

Again, nice work on this article! I enjoyed reviewing it, and you’ve made a number of really nice contributions and improvements. Best wishes as you finish up the rest of your Wikipedia assignment, and I look forward to reading the final version of your page.

JoGDelta (talk) 00:15, 10 April 2021 (UTC)