User talk:Hyennah/sandbox

Michael Lew is one of the most prolific Asian American playwrights in contemporary theatre, as well as being the co-director of the May-Yi writers lab, the largest group of Asian-American playwrights in the country. While most of his works focus on how Asian Americans are represented in America, there is very little information about his background and what influences his work,so this is one of the areas I'd like to focus on in my page. I would also like to give more details about his major plays such as Teenage Dick and Tiger Style!. Hyennah (talk) 18:05, 26 April 2018 (UTC)

Mia Peer Edit
>I think you can get rid of the sentence about his wife in the introduction because restate that same fact shortly after in the Early Life section.

>A few nit-picky, structural things that you can totally take or leave: >> "Lew chose Mirza as the person who has had the biggest impact on his career, mainly because the different perspectives they share as Asian-Americans playwrights and the way they discuss various topics have influenced his writing profoundly." I think you can delete "and the way they discuss..." and just end the sentence at "they share as Asian-American playwrights". Since you have already said that she had the biggest influence on his career, I don't think you need to restate it at the end of the sentence just in the interest of Wikipedia liking sentences to be short and concise. >>I was confused on why you had quotes around "disabled experience" in your first sentence. I think that is a common enough term that you don't need to quote it, or you can say ability status instead, or something like that. Just something about the quotes around that term felt a little odd to me. Of course air on the side of caution in terms of quoting and paraphrasing, I'm just mentioning it as a way to reduce the amount of quoting in the article. >> Maybe give the quick synopsis of "Teenage Dick" at the beginning of that paragraph? Just after reading it was about the disabled experience, I wanted to get a bit more clarity on that before reading about its workshops and accomplishments.

> I love that you're getting so in depth with his plays. I understand that the two you expand upon (or plan to expand upon) are his most renown works, but is there something about these two that set them apart from his other plays? Why are these the most renown plays and not the other ones? Not sure if an answer to these questions are appropriate for the article, but that was just something I was wondering about.

> I think you've really mastered the Wikipedia style of keeping things very unbiased and fact-based. Your writing is super concise and clear, and I can tell you really know this playwright well and have done extensive research by the way your article is written! The things I pointed out are super small-- this draft is great!

Carol's Peer Review
Lead section: The lead section delivers introductory details about Michael Lew in a clear manner. I think that having the sentence about her wife in this section may not be necessary as there is an entire section (Early Life) dedicated to expanding on this relationship and its effects on his artistic vision.

Early Life section is so clear and well-structured. It also adds an interesting dimension to Michael Lew as an artist!

Career: Teenage Dick was described and introduced with sufficient detail. Is there a specific reason that you chose to expand on Teenage Dick and Tiger Style!? Overall, the article seems to be well structured and seems to be at a wonderful wiki-style formatting! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Carolleesw (talk • contribs) 18:39, 17 May 2018 (UTC)