User talk:Iamwillchu/sandbox

Hi Will! As you know, I think this is a very interesting topic. I can't tell, though, from your sandbox whether this is an edit to an existing page or a new page. I suspect it is an edit? Could you please fill out the course page United_States_Education_Program/Courses/Housing_and_Social_Policy_(Rachel_Kleit)/Articles so the class has easy access I have a link to your article (especially if you are editing an existing article, it is hard to know what it is)? Rachel Garshick Kleit (talk) 06:24, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

I think the sections that you have listed are the right ones. At the same time, do you think you might need a section on how we know there is discrimination in the voucher program?

Citation Quality and Number
As I look at this page, I wonder why all the general discussion of the Section 8 program comes from single source? You cite one article 8 times. There are many other sources that have this information, and it strengthens the quality of your work if you are able to bring more evidence from a variety of sources to bear on the topic. Don't limit yourself just to law journals, but also social science research on this topic. Rachel Garshick Kleit (talk) 06:57, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

Section 8 or Housing Choice Voucher?
The Section 8 program's name changed with passage of 1998 Quality Housing and Work Responsibility Act to the Housing Choice Voucher program. I'm unclear whether this is a new page or an edit, but make sure that this change is noted somewhere. Rachel Garshick Kleit (talk) 07:00, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

If you do end up calling it the Section 8 program, try to include the word "voucher" in the title. Section 8 of the Housing Act of 1937 is actually several different programs (existing, new construction, certificates, and now vouchers). So, being specific is good practice. Rachel Garshick Kleit (talk) 07:12, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

To Quote or Not To Quote
If you look at well-done articles on Wikipedia, you'll see that few of them actually incorporate quotations. That is, since this an encyclopedia and not an essay or scholarly article, the article summarizes in different words (avoiding close paraphrasing) the idea. While would really like how you are using direct quotations if you were writing a paper, I'm not sure using them conforms to expectations in a Wikipedia article. Rachel Garshick Kleit (talk) 07:06, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

Classmate review
It's a good start. In the intro there are specific numbers about how many households participate in the voucher program but then the page says, "many landlords participate". It would be nice to have a number here for example, "one million landlords participate...".

The first three paragraphs also repeat themselves. In several places in the first three paragraphs there is mention of households using vouchers to find a place to live. I think you can just say this once in your opening paragraph. In fact, the first three paragraphs can be condensed down to just one.

This single opening paragraph can be your introduction then you can move into how the voucher program works. This means explaining the PHA pay the difference in rent, income requirements, etc.

It is good that you bring the discrimination aspect of the voucher program into your discussion. I feel like you can make a better connection between the voucher program and the Fair Housing Act. Or, should a connection be made at all? Is ending discrimination one of the goals of the voucher program? Or, discrimination just something we see as a result of section recipients trying to find housing?

Speaking of the goals of the section program, it would be good to talk about those and how they came about. What is the political motivation behind the section program? What's the alternative to consumer choice in housing, building more projects?

It's a good start, but there's a little ways to go.

Djadonis206 (talk) 16:40, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

Hi Will. Good start, and I look forward to seeing what comes of this when it is complete! I am not sure if this is to be an edit of an existing page (is there something on Section 8??), or is to be a stand alone page... In either case, following are a few comments that I made note of when reviewing the current piece:

In the background section, it would be helpful to have more statistics about the number of housing units available ( you say there are "many landlords", but this seems too vague). A style comment regarding the first sentence of the next paragraph, in that it seems redundant and not necessary. In the effects of discrimination section, it is unclear to me if the legislation you speak of is FHA or section 8 or how they are connected. Is section 8 really about ending discrimination or is it a vehicle for providing housing options? This could use some clarification. Additionally, you state, "studies show", but do not have any references to back that statement up.

I can see you are still in process, and I hope this was helpful. Best of luck.

Elizabeth Cooper —Preceding undated comment added 04:35, 29 November 2011 (UTC).

Hey Will, I don't really have a whole lot to add to the existing comments but a couple questions that came to mind while reading your article are: Who exactly is being discriminated against and statistics showing how often a certain group is denied use of their voucher (if those statistics exist)? I noticed you mentioned discrimination against blacks and Latinos and would suggest to add groups that don't necessarily pertain to races such as families, single mothers, elderly, handicap, etc. (that is, if there is evidence of discrimination against them). That's all I've got, good luck. mjbeal (talk) 01:08, 30 November 2011 (UTC)

Hi Will. My only comments to add would be to address the causes of discrimination, who is being discriminated against, and what is being done to address it. I see that you have some section headings set up where you might put this information. I don't know how in depth you need to go into everything, but at the very least there are some Wiki pages about discrimination, residential segregation (Katie and I are editing this), etc. that you might create links to within your page. All in all, good start! Jfraser25 (talk) 07:45, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

quick review
Hi, some quick pointers from a wikipedian. I am mainly focusing on style issues as I do not live the US and know very little about this subject:


 * Section titles are way too long. Just use "background" rather than "Background on the Section 8 Housing Voucher Program"
 * I assume the introduction section is supposed to be the article lead. In that case it should not have a separate header
 * Your lead sentence needs to contain the article title in bold
 * Introduce wikilinks to relevant articles, especially on names and complicated concepts (Fair Housing Act,Local Public Housing Authorities, vouchers, prima facie case, etc.)
 * This is english wikipedia, not US wikipedia. Assume your readers are from all over the world. The first sentence in the "introduction section" (throughout this country’s history) is an excellent example of that.
 * The language in the article is quite academic, it felt more like I was reading a paper than an encyclopedia. However, when I tried to come up with examples of clear academic language which could be simplified I couldn't actually find any. Some simplification would be beneficial to the general reader though. Yoenit (talk) 12:11, 7 December 2011 (UTC)