User talk:Iasmithf/sandbox

Aevuich (talk) 15:21, 30 November 2018 (UTC) Make sure to add proper citations, the works cited section will not be sufficient for Wikipedia. Also make sure to check spelling and grammar. For example, the third sentence has the word "do" when it should be "due".

Corrinnc (talk) 15:30, 30 November 2018 (UTC) Make sure to keep the same tense consistent throughout. There are some spelling and grammar errors throughout that need to be corrected. For example in the third sentence, rather than writing "...soon eventually..." choose either "soon" or "eventually", not both. There is also a lot of repetition in your word choice as well as run on sentences. Corrinnc (talk) 15:29, 30 November 2018 (UTC)

Stacyjljoseph (talk) 15:34, 30 November 2018 (UTC) You need proper citations throughout the article. Check your grammer and spelling, proper punctuation and sentence structure is missing throughout your article. I wouldn't address the author directly in the article. Rather discuss the topic without saying "the author Jan Bender Shelter" and cite the sentence.

Chauhiulaam (talk) 04:56, 8 December 2018 (UTC)There are two sections showing the citation. You should delete one of them. The way to present the information can be more straight forward. Try to use simpler structure in sentences.

Hyperlinks and citations
While the article is quite well thought out and informative, there are no hyperlinks that let readers go to other pages if they want to learn more about some of the ideas and subjects that are briefly mentioned but not the focus of your specific article. If you could add hyperlinks to the work it would be most beneficial.

Dawsonator101 (talk) 15:34, 30 November 2018 (UTC) Dawson

Peer Review
Sources: Looks great, is there a third though? Also, remember to just properly cite your work with in-text citations and endnotes (in the style of all other Wikipedia articles).

Content: Overall, this entry was kind of all over the place. I was left really confused as to what your topic was on. Was it on warring ethnic groups or decline of wildlife? If there is a theme tying these two topics together, use it to make the piece more cohesive and less confusing. Also try to make your first paragraph look less like a book report by eliminating or changing phrases like “finishes her article” or interpretations (thus opinions and not fact), like the last sentence of the paragraph. Grammar needs a lot of work, specifically with the inclusion of commas, the spelling of homonyms, and making sure either sentences are complete or are not run-ons. Replace “journal entry” with just the title of the book he wrote. - Mcwallac (talk) 06:39, 6 December 2018 (UTC)