User talk:Ifly6/First Triumvirate

Comments requested
I'd appreciate it if you had any comments on this draft too. Ifly6 (talk) 02:54, 13 May 2022 (UTC)


 * Unsure if appropriate for me to chime in, but I did notice references 37 (misspelled 'Drogula'),170, 171, 173, 174, 175, 176, and 178 (there's no Ramsay in sources) don't point to any citation. I have to say just the fact it's not almost entirely primary sources is an improvement :) SpartaN (talk) 14:23, 13 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Sure, no worries about chiming in! I'll go take a look at those oversights. Ifly6 (talk) 23:22, 13 May 2022 (UTC)
 * The issues you identified (a typo in author name breaking an SFN invocation) and a missing full-form citation were fixed. There also was the issue that I had (fortunately consistently) misspelt RamsEy's name as RamsAy, but that too has been fixed. Ifly6 (talk) 23:28, 13 May 2022 (UTC)


 * Lede is too short. I partly wrote the previous one; I think you can reuse some of it.
 * I would say right from the start that the name was coined after the Second Triumvirate in Name and usage (and would mention it in the lede too).
 * You forgot to mention that Caesar was Pontifex Maximus since 63 BC and the nephew of Marius. I would mention the three men's fortune under Sulla too.
 * Caesar's consulship is too long; add dates in the titles, and try to reduce this section, or add new level 4 titles. Other sections are very long as well.
 * The See also section is not needed to me. T8612  (talk) 16:16, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
 * As to naming, I'm under the impression that the term "First Triumvirate" emerged in the early modern period and has absolutely no ancient usage. I agree that a lot of sections trend long. Ifly6 (talk) 22:29, 20 May 2022 (UTC)

I'd also appreciate any substantive comments that you might have. Ifly6 (talk) 21:15, 16 May 2022 (UTC)

Comments requested (again)
Hello again. I made some changes to the draft (more section headings have been introduced; cleaned up some textual errors; rewrote the lede). If you have any comments please give them.

Re T8612's feedback above, I think going all the way back to Sulla's treatment of the men is too far back. The alliance was created in 59 BC to solve a then-contemporary political problem that the three had. As to the other stuff, most of it was effected. Ifly6 (talk) 14:39, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Crassus made a fortune thanks to Sulla's proscription. He was probably the wealthiest man of Rome. I would mention that.
 * I also don't like the sentence in the first paragraph: "It was not a formal magistracy, nor did it achieve a lasting domination over state affairs." It's better to tell about the main point rather than a technicality. I would say something along the lines of what I wrote in the article in the Main, "The constitution of the Roman Republic was a complex set of checks and balances designed to prevent a man from rising above the rest and creating a monarchy. In order to bypass these constitutional obstacles, Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus forged a secret alliance in which they promised to use their respective influence to help each other."  T8612  (talk) 14:16, 14 August 2022 (UTC)
 * What do you think of the recent changes to the lede? I also added in a sentence on him being very wealthy. Ifly6 (talk) 21:56, 14 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Any further comments? If none I'll do a read over and overwrite shortly (like next week maybe). Ifly6 (talk) 18:00, 28 September 2022 (UTC)
 * "wanted to ratification of his settlements in Asia" missing word.
 * Otherwise, it's good to go. T8612  (talk) 08:59, 29 September 2022 (UTC)

Infobox?
I'm thinking of adding an infobox. I'm not sure which one. The Infobox political party seems unsuited, even though the FT was something of a political alliance. One on a magistracy like Infobox official post seems even less suitable. The current article simply doesn't have an infobox, which is reasonable with those difficulties, but I do want to consider alternatives. Recommendations would be helpful. Ifly6 (talk) 14:43, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I can't think of a good infobox. It's not required to put one. T8612  (talk) 14:16, 14 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Oh, I agree, though I'd like to put one in if there is a relevant one. Ifly6 (talk) 21:44, 14 August 2022 (UTC)