User talk:Ina.sit/sandbox

'''Article Contribution Review ''' Hi,

After reading your contributions, I have some suggestions for the things I have noticed.

Double check your punctuation, especially commas within your text. For example, in the beginning of the "Uses" section, right after you wrote "Ascribed characteristics", a comma is needed.

The wording you use is a little bit confusing. For instance, using the phrase, "lends itself to use" isn't necessary and is confusing at the same time. -- You stated: "As the term describes differentiates it lends itself well to being used in the nature vs nurture arguments." This sentence needs different wording and better structure, along with the help of proper punctuation.

You also stated: "Studies such as "Personal networks in Saudi Arabia: The role of ascribed and achieved characteristics" at the end of the paragraph without tying it into context. Maybe the sentence is not completed? What importance does it have being in this paragraph?

You did a good job with describing Ascribed Characteristics in a different way. It does seem just a little repetitive to the introduction-maybe you can bring in new ideas/information about the term?

Other than that, looks great!

Ilanitsimonov (talk) 17:51, 2 April 2018 (UTC)

Editing - Global Health and Demography assignment [Crystal Mekari]
I really like the number of different citations you used, it really shows how much research you put into the assignment. I see that you use quotations a lot in your edits, especially in your subsection of Rondal Dore's argument. I could be wrong but if I recall from the Wiki training modules, you're supposed to put it in your own words. I know paraphrasing still goes into quotations but I think paraphrasing is also against the Wiki plagiarism. It's clear that you've really done your research and you're doing a really great job, I think the only is to go back and put everything in your own, most original words that way you won't even need to use quotations on paraphrased sentences. -Crystal Mekari, peer reviewer — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mekaric (talk • contribs) 01:48, 3 April 2018 (UTC)