User talk:Inkian Jason/Liwonde National Park

Suggestions
I have only looked at the first few sections but noticed some things. First the lead should summarize the whole article so mention of the geographic features, wildlife, recreational activities, nearest town, etc. is appropriate to include. This would be a minimal mention with the fuller details and references in the body of the article. Second, Liwonde, the settlement, is now only mentioned twice: once in the sentence "Some donations to the park benefit a school in Liwonde." where it is not clear that Liwonde is a settlement outside the park; and once in a photo caption. I am not clear if the photo is taken in the park looking out or outside of the park looking across the river into the park. I also couldn't tell whether the location, if it is outside the park, should be described as Liwonde township or Machinga District. Our Wikipedia articles do not explain the definition of township in Malawi (synonym for town or does it include settled and rural areas?) and the Machinga District article only lists electoral districts, not cities, towns, or townships. I notice you have removed all history of the park area before it was designated a national park. This is important material and a sourced background history is appropriate to include. Also what is the relationship to Liwonde township? Is the park named for the town or the town for the park? Rmhermen (talk) 20:52, 9 October 2017 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the suggestions. In my experience drafting and suggesting Wikipedia articles on behalf of clients, shorter less-detailed introductions have proved to be more acceptable than longer ones. But I am not opposed to a longer lead, if you have any specific recommendations. I went ahead and added "township" in front of mention of Liwonde, for clarification, and I removed "Liwonde" from the photo caption. I had kept it since this wording was used in the current article's caption, but I think simply mentioning the river is sufficient. Finally, I tried to provide an overview of the park's history based on reliable secondary coverage. All of the early history content in the existing article is unsourced, and should not be kept if our goal is to comply with Wikipedia's guidelines. Inkian Jason (talk) 15:42, 10 October 2017 (UTC)