User talk:InspectaCollecta

An interesting (but false) story
The Idaho Spud

The Gem State's Finest News Source

July 11, 2008

Moscow, Russia -- Barry Manilow is now way more than just a sensational pop singer -- he's now a mutant with superstrength!

On July 6, Manilow dialed 1-800-COLLECT from a payphone and attempted to call his ex-wife Susan Deixler, but she rejected the charges. Manilow then went to McDonald's and sang "I deserve a break today, so I got up and got away to you, McDonald's, who I wrote that famous jingle for!". He then ordered a Big Mac and got upset at the soda fountain that they didn't have Tab, which he also wrote a jingle for, so he got Vault instead. After tasting Vault and hating it, he then used his iPhone to make a call to Coca-Cola and made a complaint, saying "You guys have really got to bring back Surge, since my ex-wife would've given me the secret recipe to that old soft drink had she accepted the charges for the collect call I made!". The next morning, Manilow got an e-Mail from Deixler in which she said "The only soda I know the recipe for is Tab, I'm afraid. Bye." Manilow then went to his phone book to call his local psychic for help, but mistakenly dialed the number for Pizza Hut and had a mushroom and tomato pizza delivered to him. He then got salmonella poisoning from the tomatoes on the pizza, and was hospitalized all day until he eventually vomited. He then felt so sick that he decided to fly on his private plane to Moscow and have a free concert in Red Square. During the concert, a meteor shower hit the entire city of Moscow; one meteorite struck the Kremlin's clocktower, causing it to fall right on top of Manilow. The heavy impact mutated Manilow; after discovering his new superpower, he then used it to lift Lenin's Tomb a thousand feet into the air. The next morning, Manilow walked outside his hotel and found a whole stash of movies on VHS, Betamax, laserdisc, video CD, and CED. Manilow at first wanted to use his superstrength to fly up into the air and dump the old movies into the Caspian Sea, but President Vladimir Putin insisted that he shouldn't cause possible further endangerment to all the sturgeons that the country produces its famed caviar from, so instead he dumped the old tapes and discs into the Black Sea. After returning from Russia to the Las Vegas Hilton, where he's been the musical headliner at since February 2005, he ended an outstanding performance with the new song "I Lift The Weights" (a play on "I Write The Songs"), now available for download on iTunes. After the success of his new hit, Manilow then formed the New Electric Light Orchestra (NELO), an art-rock supergroup consisting of Manilow along with Jon Bon Jovi, Eddie Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Gene Simmons of Kiss, Angus Young of AC/DC, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, Slash of Guns N' Roses, and Alex Lifeson of Rush. Their first studio album is currently in its early stages of recording. If the album goes Platinum, Manilow will use the money to support the presidential campaign of Barack Obama. He has also made a request to his local 7-Eleven that they give him all the Slurpees he wants for free. Videos of the current studio sessions with NELO are now being channelled on YouTube. In a few days, Manilow will be a featured guest on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He will also be interviewed on 60 Minutes this Sunday night. InspectaCollecta (talk) 05:10, 19 July 2008 (UTC)

About myself
Hi. My name is Stephen Buetens. Here's some info about me and what I like:

I am a huge fan of Star Wars. I have all six movies on DVD.

My favorite type of music is classic rock. My favorite artists in this genre include AC/DC, Aerosmith, Jackson Browne, Bon Jovi, and Rush.

I am a subscriber to Sirius Satellite Radio. My favorite channels on Sirius are Buzzsaw, Classic Vinyl, Classic Rewind, Hair Nation, and The Vault.

I like to play Star Wars video games at home. The consoles I have are: a Wii, an Xbox, a PlayStation 2, a Game Cube, a Nintendo 64, and a Sega Dreamcast. I also have two portable game systems: a PSP and a Nintendo DS.

My favorite soft drink is Dr. Pepper.

My cellular carrier is AT&T.

Among my favorite fast foods are: Philly steaks at Subway, burgers at Wendy's, roast beef sandwiches at Arby's, chicken at KFC, and fish at Long John Silver's.

I like traveling to Europe. Among the countries I've been to are Switzerland, Holland, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Spain, France, Italy, England, Scotland, Greece, Germany, and Austria.

I live in Tampa, Florida.

I ain't got time for the jibba-jabba. InspectaCollecta (talk) 20:51, 19 July 2008 (UTC)