User talk:Iorloff/User:Kierafitz/sandbox/Iorloff Peer Review

The added content for the Mela Muter page is very well written and in an easy-to-read format. The major issue with the added content is that you do not explain how it will be incorporated within the already existing article. A majority of the content written in your sandbox is already present in the original article, so you should mention how you plan to remove or otherwise edit the existing content in combination with your added content. Also, what is said in the "Mela Muter" section is then repeated in the "Early Life" and "Loss and War Time" sections. There are two instances where you say "family were" that I corrected to "family was." Also, the link to Shalom magazine does not provide any publication information to support the source's credibility. The link for the Gill Perry article only includes an ISBN which does not bring the reader to the actual article, but I am not sure if the ISBN is sufficient or not. Overall, the quality of the added content is great. Iorloff (talk) 07:43, 20 October 2019 (UTC)