User talk:Iqra Choudhry/sandbox

Prof D. Feedback
Hi Iqra, I love you you start us off with defining terms. To make the tone more encyclopedic, I recommend removing the "perhaps the most important" part of your sentence, and making it a bit more of a direct statement. If you have a source to back this particular sentence up (say, if someone else said this somewhere) even better. Similarly, you close with "this is a personal choice for everyone" I think you'll need to drop that sentence to be wikipedia appropriate. I think it's important for the preimplantation/embryo selection bit to specify that what you're referring to are IVF specific practices. B/c in theory, I think some detractors from IUDs and Plan B pills are that technically these, too, are pre-implantation (but post-fertilization) abortions, in some cases. Can you define or link to "aneuploidy"? Also same for IVF. Also, what will you be calling your contribution (subheading)? Will it be "Defining Terms"? "IVF embryo screening"? Are there controversies you can refer to about these particular IVF practices? (from reputable sources)? Looking forward to seeing where this goes! --T. Danylevich (talk) 15:21, 19 April 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review
There were some terms which I think could be confusing, defining or rewording them could help or providing a link to another wikipedia page. For example in paragraph one, the last sentence refers to “normal embryos” which I was a little confused by, and if you’re comparing it to IVF embryos, maybe you could say non-IVF embryos instead of normal. I also think a link to aneuploidy wiki page would help in case people don’t know what that is or why that should be screened for.

I think the second two paragraphs about embryo selection and abortion are very strong, non biased, clear and short.

I like that you provided a summary at the end because it helps tie together the differences between preimplantation, embryo selection and abortion. I am wondering if this section is supposed to be purely factual with explanations or also theoretical. I find the mixture of the ethical debate with the definitions a bit confusing. Perhaps you could take some of the parts of the last paragraph and make that its own section, like Ethical Debates Surrounding Genetic Screening and Abortion that way you separate what’s objective with what’s subjective. Especially because pro and opposing sections exist I think best to keep this one neutral. Regardless I think everything is well explained. I like the links you included so far to other wikipedia pages.

Looking back at the lead from the original website I see why you added in aneuploidy (because they mention down syndrome in the lead), but then maybe say aneuploidy or trisomy, I think that would just connect well to the original page.

The sources you have so far seem strong. There are some unsourced statements but I’m not totally sure they need sources (?). Good job! Sdekk13 (talk) 22:13, 13 April 2020 (UTC)