User talk:Ivly12/sandbox

Overall Thoughts:
After looking at the high heels article, I like your idea of adding to the medical research section and the dancing section, as both of these definitely have more information that can be added to enhance the article. My main question is if you are aiming to focus on just the research involved with wearing high heels, or how wearing high heels can affect a person’s health in general? From your draft, it seems that you’re focusing on research, in which case I would change the name of the section to reference research specifically. In general, I would say that the structure you have is pretty good. I also think the information you have right now is interesting and works in the article, but adding more studies and maybe more general information on high heel pain would fill it out.

Thoughts on Medical Aspects Section:
Overall, I really liked the studies you included, as I feel they provided interesting points for what you are trying to say – I particularly enjoyed the sections on balance and posture. The studies you included in each section were explained well, and written in a way where just enough was given to make me want to learn more. For the joint and back pain sections, I actually think that combining them into one large section could work, as both deal with pain that can be caused from high heels. While they are two different types of pain, the other sections don’t really discuss direct pain resulting from wearing high heels. As a result, I think combining these sections into one (maybe with even smaller subsections) would be a better grouping for the article as a whole. For the back pain section, I think you could explain the study a bit more. While you mention the results, I think it would help to include how the researchers actually went about the study. For example, was there a control group, was there a specific scale of pain, etc.? You might also be thinking this, but I would also try to find a study that focuses on one’s spine when wearing high heels (you mention this in the draft note).

Thoughts on Dancing Section:
I know this section is in its early stages, but from the couple sentences it has, it seems like you’re trying to explain why certain dances are performed with high heels? I actually think this is an interesting idea, as different dances might have different reasons for using high heels, which could be related to footwork and other movements. This idea of why high heels are used for certain dances types could also be related back to pain, as you could explore how dancing in high heels affects one’s long-term health (I would think that it’s especially tough on the ankle area). I admittedly don’t know a lot about dance, but it seems like the type you include (Argentine Tango) is very specific, and could maybe be broadened. Including a lot of specific dances would be a lot of information, and I don’t think that would be necessary for the sections you want to add.

Relating Back to My Own
One thing that you did well that I think I need to improve is the way in which you presented the information (your writing style). I think you did an especially good job with the balance and posture sections, as your writing sounded like an encyclopedia without just stating fact after fact after fact. I think I might have the opposite problem, as I should probably include more facts in my article.

General Thoughts
Overall, I think the sections you are adding to the article are important and relevant. The text itself can be a bit unclear at times, so a few rewordings here and there would make the article much more accessible. Below I made a few grammatical suggestions. Also the titles of some of the sections are misleading or could use rewording. The title Medical Aspects is a bit misleading. Maybe instead of calling it Medical Aspects, change the name to Medical Findings or Research or Medical Implications. I commend you for finding articles and studies related to this topic, I am sure these studies are not readily available. If you do find more studies, I would add more to this article to help strengthen your evidence. However, it is completely fine if do not find any more studies. I would recommend adding more sources. Maybe even just to confirm that for example overused joints can lead to arthritis in the feet. A few links to other Wikipedia articles could really help your article. In general, I think this topic is really interesting and not that well known. I learned a lot about posture and balance, even as it relates to normal walking and standing without high heels.

Back Pain
The very first sentence could use a bit of rewording, it is not clear. Maybe say when wearing higher heels instead of "with highest heel heights".

Joint Pain
Forty five should be forty-five. I do not think exact names of researchers are important, but this is a matter of preference. You use a few technical terms without really explaining them. Maybe you could link these to Wikipedia articles on these topics or write a few words describing them (metatarsals, osteoarthritis).

Balance Control of the Body
This study is very very intriguing. I learned quite a bit from it!

Postural Effects
Maybe link a few Wikipedia articles to those anatomy terms. Very interesting results from the study!

Dancing
Definitely a good start to the section. I cannot wait to see how to turns out!

Sdiliberti (talk) 11:49, 26 February 2019 (UTC)