User talk:Iwantmyps2/sandbox

Suggestions/comments on rough draft article
You added good, relevant information to your topic. When you say that the dogs are "very intelligent," "very easy to train," and "very friendly," the word "very" may indicate a little bias or exaggerate the circumstances. Your last sentence under the subsection, "Temperament," is a little choppy and seems like a run-on sentence. You could make it sound more fluid by putting a period after breed and then start the next sentence with "They," removing "and" before "love." I think the "Needs and Health" section was a good addition; however, your last sentence is confusing. You need to explain why the dogs shouldn't be left alone. Also, I think you should form two paragraphs, the first being strictly needs, and the second being strictly health so that it flows better. You should add a wikilink to Patellar Luxation because readers will not know what that is, and "Health" in the title of the section shouldn't be capitalized. You have an incomplete sentence that you need to finish under the history section. You also need to cite your references in the text and at the end. I think it was a good idea not to add another image because the original article already has three images. Heppnean (talk) 00:28, 16 March 2019 (UTC)

Peer-Feedback
This article has potential but needs some work. The lead section was good and provided a high-level overview of this breed of dog, but felt a little lacking being only one line. Maybe that's just me, but I would try and beef it up if possible. The structure is good, but I think the article would be better with the "History" section before the "Needs and Health" section. There are no pictures in the article, and I think that if you can find one that would help tremendously. In the description section the sentence "Its tail can be docked." is confusing to me. What is docking? Is there another Wikipedia article that explains it? If not, please explain what it means in this article. The final sentence of the "Needs and Health" section also needs some explanation. I believe you are implying that Japanese terriers are social animals, and they get sad when they're alone but that needs to be explicitly stated. Also at the beginning of the "History" section it just says "A female Japanese Terrier" and then continues onto another paragraph. I'm not sure if that was meant to be a picture caption, but please fix that. Finally, there are no sources. Please cite the relevant sources for each bit of information or else we cannot verify if it's true or not.

Hall3jl (talk) 00:53, 16 March 2019 (UTC)

Also Peer-Feedback
One of the big things I noticed on the live version of the Japanese Terrier page is that it only has one entry in it's reflist. I would definitely suggest finding some sources for both the information already present as well as what you're adding. That'll be a big contribution to the article, even on top of any added info. I like spirit of the information you've added, but I think it could be presented better. It's a little bare-bones, and I think you could definitely expand on it a bit more, because it's all valuable information. The lead section is supposed to be a sort of summary of the content of the article, so I think anything you add to the body, you should also be adding to the lead section. I think the bit at the end of the "Need and Health" heading could use a little work as well. You say they shouldn't be left alone, but don't make it clear if that's because they'll get lonely or if they're a flight risk.

TheBoatGuy (talk) 02:12, 16 March 2019 (UTC)