User talk:Ixz/sandbox

Lulu's Peer Review
I really like the content and additions that you guys have added to the article! It is a really good first draft. I noticed a few grammar mistakes and listed them below:

MuteRKelly
 * '...in light of the Buzzfeed article about R. Kelly's alleged sex cult[2]' 'Buzzfeed' should be 'BuzzFeed' also I think instead of saying in light of maybe say in response to

HimToo
 * Make sure to use past tense when talking about things that have already happened:
 * 'The #HimToo hashtag is first started by...' should be 'was first started by...'
 * 'who claims on Twitter' should be 'who claimed..'
 * 'The tweet is soon deleted,' should be 'The tweet was soon'
 * 'It is further popularized' should be 'It was'
 * this line seems to be a little bit opinionated 'because of its focus on victimizing the accused instead of the victims of rape and sexual violence' remember you have to have a neutral point of view on the topic. So either use a source saying that this is actually what people directly say and believe about this hashtag or make it less opinionated

ArabSpring
 * 'protests under the banner of #ArabSpring are organised through Twitter' The American english way is 'organized' instead of 'organised'
 * 'with related hashtag #eygpt becoming' I'm guessing this is a typo and should be '#egypt'

Lulutao (talk) 05:56, 13 March 2019 (UTC)

Tory's Peer Review
Maybe add in something about the documentary that came out about him? I feel like that documentary contributed a ton to why this blew up as much as it did.
 * 1) MuteRKelly


 * 1) HimToo is summarized so well. Really great job. It captures a small timeline, the meaning of the movement, and where it's coming from. Nice.

Could you maybe define economic inequality? It really seemed to be against corporations, so maybe mention that?
 * 1) OccupyWallstreet

Another great job of summarizing a really large event into a few short sentences. Awesome job.
 * 1) ArabSpring

Torybigelow (talk) 18:52, 14 March 2019 (UTC)Torybigelow

Lulu's Peer Review for Him Too
I like how you guys went into detail about this history of the hashtag as well as talking about its physical presence with the rally.

Overall, I would work on the flow. There seems to some repetition and is slightly confusing what exactly the sentences are saying. I'm sure that can be a easy fix if you guys re-read it and edit it.

History:
 * The first paragraph it might not be good to include that entire quote maybe just summarize the meaning instead

Since the original article is so short there's a lot more potential. I think you guys should maybe add a section for support and one for critiques of this movement. Also you might want to try to find a few more sources that are from edu or org since majority are from new sites that are more biased.

Lulutao (talk) 07:53, 18 March 2019 (UTC)

BSII0IX's Peer Review
Your lead section is very good because it states the most important information and gives a good overview about what the article is about. The section on its media coverage brings in very good background that also makes it easier to understand the impact of the movement. BSII0IX (talk) 17:18, 20 March 2019 (UTC)
 * I’d expand the section about its history because you basically just repeat what you say in the lead section.
 * correct the spelling in the media coverage section. It’s “hashtag” and not “hash tag”
 * Maybe consider putting the last and the second to last paragraph together since it is about the same case and it would make is easier for the reader to understand it. Iy you can come up with more example where the hashtag was used the better.
 * Add a link to the #MeToo movement in the “See also” section