User talk:JECason/new sandbox

Hi, here are some thoughts about your sandbox:
 * The first sentence of a biography should begin with the subject's name and then their birth and death dates in parentheses. See Dolley Madison
 * On Wikipedia, all subjects have to be notable to be included. Notability isn't inherited, meaning that just because someone is married to or related to a notable person, they aren't themselves notable most of the time. Why is Mary Breckinridge notable? The article should be explicit about this.
 * In general, all content on Wikipedia should be referenced. If consecutive sentences come from the same source, the citation can be added once at the end of the consecutive sentences rather than duplicated at the end of each sentence. In that vein, no paragraph should end without a citation, and no paragraphs should lack citations. I see several paragraphs that lack citations, which is a red flag. Where does this content come from? How will the reader know it's verifiable?
 * Looks like only one source is in use so far. For a new article, we need to have at least two, but more is always better!
 * Think about how you want to structure this article. Biographies are often put in chronological order. Common section titles include "Early life and education", "Career", "Personal life", and "Awards and honors".
 * her legacy as the founder of the Frontier Nursing Service has reached more lives than the contributions of the men in her family this is a very strong claim, so you need a very strong source here that explicity states her accomplishments were greater than any of the men in her family.
 * In beloved four-year-old son, you should remove the word "beloved", as it can be assumed that most parents love their children, and this helps the article have a more "encyclopedic" tone
 * You should avoid euphemisms and figures of speech like Life's tragedies called her to adventure....

I would say your main concerns moving forward are 1) restructuring the article into sections; 2) putting the claim to notability in the very first sentence, rather than who her family was; 3) making sure you add more citations to reliable sources. Let me know if you have any questions about this. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:10, 13 May 2020 (UTC)