User talk:Jacob4459/sandbox

From Dr. Cohen: Either article would be fine. The one about food and older adults might work for adding in content regarding changes over time. If this is about aging then you will want to provide some kind of content regarding how food choices change as we age and why. If it is about fear of children you can find aging content in simply the comparison of one age group fearing another.

Strengths of your article

 * The leading paragraph of your article does not have extensive information where I am overwhelmed. It states a clear understanding of the topic at hand, and it also provides a transition into the next subtopic of food choice which is the science behind it.
 * The structure of the article is clear. Each heading and subheading helps provide a flow of information. The information is not distributed drastically instead it is organized.
 * Each section provides a lot of information on the topic.
 * There seems to be a neutral tone throughout the article.
 * Sources seemed reliable

Weaknesses of your article

 * In the section "By Age: younger and older adults", I think more could be added. When I first started reading it I wondered what else influenced an older persons eating habits, and I immediately thought about physical health. Maybe mention something that will lead the reader to that section for more info.. like a hyper link?
 * In the section "By biological sex: elderly male and female" the content seems to have already been said in the first/leading paragraph. It is almost word for word. You may want to rephrase this section. The information is important however, so I would not just delete it. Also, for the last paragraph in this section, did the researchers explain why this was the reason? I know it was due to biological sex but what was their science behind it?
 * The section "By personal health (physical health)" could have further information on the modified food pyramid for adults over 70. This seems kind of important in explaining what types of food older people choose.
 * The section on "By social environment and conditioning" could talk more about nursing homes and the types of food they provide for them. This probably plays a huge role in their health after they have reached an age where they are unable to take care of them self.

Looking at the specific edits you made in your sandbox

 * "More often than not, some*one* has Alzheimer's..." (word edit)
 * You state that it is a proven fact that those who make connections with others live longer... but where is your source to back that up? There are no sources to back up your mental health section in your sandbox. When I go tot he article page there is one citation at the end of the paragraph but it is about sensations. Is this your link to the whole paragraph? (just asking)
 * Also, this section does not provide much content... You say a person can be prevent from dying early by a sense of well being and proper nourishment but explain how in more detail... have you found a study or nursing home that provides this type of care?
 * In the section "Social Environment and Conditions you used the word "our." (Should probably change)
 * What are some examples of social networks for older people?
 * "especially when it comes to food" does not make sense in the sentence (at least not to me.. I would ask prof)

Overall, there is not much content that you added to the article, but I feel there is a lot of potential for this article. There are many things you can look into to adding.

Response to Peer Review
The one aspect of my article that I want to improve on after reading the peer review was the subsection "By Age: younger and older adults". The topic of physical health came up and I feel as if it would be a great addition to the subsection. The subsection ""By social environment and conditioning" could definitely talk more about the homes that elderly would live in and how living in different homes with different conditions will impact their overall health. The addition of another source will also be added when talking about mental health of the elderly. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jacob4459 (talk • contribs) 19:55, 20 March 2018 (UTC)