User talk:Jacob Khorsandi/Cellestine Ware/Kansastilbury Peer Review

Peer Review: Kansas Tilbury
Hi, Cellestine Ware group!

Great job on your entry so far. I just finished adding my peer review, so please let me know if there's any comments you have questions on or anything that needs clarification. Overall, I would focus on getting a strong lead section developed that emphasizes the different sections you will be touching on. While reading your article, the flow seemed just a touch choppy and hard to follow. The article is written very well, so making sure everything is placed where it makes the most sense would go a long way! My only other larger critique is to find more secondary sources. Half of your information comes from the same book which could present problems. I found a few grammar mistakes, so just make sure to look into that as well. Other than that, really solid start, I can't wait to read it when it's finished!

Kansas

Kansastilbury (talk) 18:39, 20 November 2023 (UTC)