User talk:JadenMcElvey/MHazleSandbox

Duncan Winn Peer Review
In the lead, I understand that she worked at Mitre Corporation and on the development of the Semi-Automatic Ground Environment, but I wish there was a little bit more information. If that is all that is available then that is fine, but if there is any more information then it give the lead a bit more depth. I do feel that it covers the important information after reading the rest of the article. For grammar, there isn't a space between the first "Marlene Hazle" and parenthesis containing the dates of her birth and death.

The Biography section seems good except some minor punctuation errors. Make sure to put commas between cities and states (e.g. Toledo, Ohio). For the University section, in the third sentence, put a comma after "At Cornell". In the fourth sentence, put a comma after "Hazle" and after "along with other students". In the fifth sentence, put a comma after "In 1956".

The Work section also seems good. Put a comma after "After graduation".